October 27, 2009

3 Minutes of Tummy Time

I recently had a friend in town armed with a video camera for a job we were doing together this past weekend-- and so while he was here and had a chance to meet the family, Cole and I asked him to pretty please make a quick video so we could remember Tessa at this wiggly age. She is almost 4 months and has been teething and drooling and being all around adorable. Tessa was sure to let all of us know when she was sick of being filmed with her signature scream/cry. Notice the subtle differences in how Cole and I approach the constant drooling going on. Cole takes more of a hands on approach than I do. So yeah here is 3 minutes of Tummy Time and to make it even sweeter I was given the go ahead by our friends Rabbit to use an unreleased song that will be coming out on their new album "Connect The Dots." We have been playing their new album to The Tangerine for the last few weeks in the car and it has kept her from having any "I'm trapped in a car in my stupid car seat" freak outs.








All the Love in the Universe ~ Us

October 13, 2009

A Year Ago...

One year ago I decided I would write about the building of this family-- not just in terms of being newlyweds still drunk on love-- who were running down new careers during a hostile economic environment-- while I was finding balance and fitting in as a new stepdad to the Littlest Buddy-- while we were still searching for answers to his developmental delays wishing so hard for him to finally speak-- while I was weighing out if we all had the endurance to face the uphill battles and constant rejection from my decision to try and make it as a professional writer and photographer-- or if I should just finally put the dreams up on the shelf and find some 9-5 thing that would offer more security-- while we finally decided that despite all of the uncertainty, we both wanted a baby very badly, we wanted LB to have a brother or a sister before he got much older, and so we set out to make this happen. And I decided to write about it. All of it. With no real idea of the blog world. I just asked Cole if I could write about everything, because if she was even a little squeamish about it, I wouldn't have wanted to do it. Not for a second. Her willingness to be open and share our life motivated me to write every day. In the beginning she was my only audience. She was my readership.

I have been doing this for one year now. This time last year we had no idea that a little Tessa Tangerine had already started to grow inside of Cole. We had no idea that we had already made a baby when I sat down to start chronicling the process. I certainly had no idea that a year later I would look back and realize that thousands of people took this journey with us, and saw this family grow along the way. It's hard to wrap my head around what we have done in a year, and in front of so many people. I think the shock of that has kept me quiet these past few weeks. People tend to throw around the term "it blew my mind" but I actually think my mind is a little more than blown, to the point that it isn't thinking the same way any longer. In the end I wanted to do right by my family and stick to a promise I made myself when first starting out the blog, to make sure that I did not fall into the trap of blogging every single milestone, or rushing for the camera because this moment would make for a perfect entry. I am selfish with these memories right now. I want to just sit and watch Tessa laugh her little ass off and see LB slowly warm up to her. I love my stupid blog, and so I am protective that I do not grow to hate it. I thought that after a year of blogging, I should mention why I have been so quiet lately. I am not quitting, or trying to figure out what it all means. I am just enjoying watching our hard work grow up.

And she is growing up so fast...



I dug around this blog a bunch last week, read old entries and comments and was just floored at the support and love that was sent our way this last year. I had no idea the amount of emotion that was capable of being shared from all over the world simply by reading, writing, and interacting as a community. So I'm saying thank you so very much for all of the time that you gave to this family, and for caring enough to say hi and to read here. This blog became an unexpected spark that kept me running down dreams and was such a source of encouragement to keep going, I can't thank you enough for that. As an update I felt like I should say I am in the midst of a little redesign here, and nearing the end of some new projects that will keep this blog fresh and fun for me to write in for another year to come. Until then...

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

P.S. I was curious to know after a year of writing here if anyone had a favorite post that stuck with them, if there was a stand out post. So if you think of one, please leave it in the comments.

P.P.S. I just noticed this nomination today. I am not sure who submitted this blog, but thanks a bunch :)

October 5, 2009

Wake Up

*Something that I have been laying in bed wide awake thinking about...

The problem with being filled to the top with hopes and dreams is that if you can't figure out a way to slice them down, serve them up, feed them to others, and get them to believe that what you have cooked up for consumption has a value and can make the world go round-- then all of those dreams will simply die a slow death, set to rotting inside of you, and just like that, you are full of shit. You have to get them out, and live them, make them real. You have to. If the only thing you're feeding your children is fantasy for breakfast they're going to be starving by noon, crash, and want a taste of the solid safe everyday life. All of the sudden you blink, they're 3ft tall, opinionated, and they're feasting on Happy Meals and soaking in Dora the fucking Explora like some new kid religion. So when you set to drag them away from it, throw them an apple and suggest a walk they think you're being a mean asshole. They think you're depriving them of the good life. I don't want this to happen. I can't let this happen. So what has become vital to me, is to teach them that they can have more, but at the same time making sure that I am never feeding them delusional promises I can't deliver myself. If I want them to believe that anything is possible, than I have to show them proof of that in their own lives. It isn't enough to say that the world should be explored, we will just have to go out and explore it-- that kind of a thing.

This little family of mine has children that are still too young to know the difference between the things that they are "supposed" to have, and the things that they simply just need. They have a chance like all children do to live a truly unique life. I am living under the belief that I will provide them that unique life. If I didn't believe that than I couldn't smile everyday like I do.

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

October 2, 2009

Please Help Cure JM

I am taking part in a bit of collective word spreading today and would love it if you gave this a read...

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me





Kevin of Always Home and Uncool has asked me to post this as part of his effort to raise awareness in the blogosphere of juvenile myositis, a rare autoimmune disease his daughter was diagnosed with on this day seven years ago. The day also happens to be his wife's birthday.

*

Our pediatrician admitted it early on.

The rash on our 2-year-old daughter's cheeks, joints and legs was something he'd never seen before.

The next doctor wouldn't admit to not knowing.

He rattled off the names of several skins conditions -- none of them seemingly worth his time or bedside manner -- then quickly prescribed antibiotics and showed us the door.

The third doctor admitted she didn't know much.

The biopsy of the chunk of skin she had removed from our daughter's knee showed signs of an "allergic reaction" even though we had ruled out every allergy source -- obvious and otherwise -- that we could.

The fourth doctor had barely closed the door behind her when, looking at the limp blonde cherub in my lap, she admitted she had seen this before. At least one too many times before.

She brought in a gaggle of med students. She pointed out each of the physical symptoms in our daughter:

The rash across her face and temples resembling the silhouette of a butterfly.

The purple-brown spots and smears, called heliotrope, on her eyelids.

The reddish alligator-like skin, known as Gottron papules, covering the knuckles of her hands.

The onset of crippling muscle weakness in her legs and upper body.

She then had an assistant bring in a handful of pages photocopied from an old medical textbook. She handed them to my wife, whose birthday it happened to be that day.

This was her gift -- a diagnosis for her little girl.

That was seven years ago -- Oct. 2, 2002 -- the day our daughter was found to have juvenile dermatomyositis, one of a family of rare autoimmune diseases that can have debilitating and even fatal consequences when not treated quickly and effectively.

Our daughter's first year with the disease consisted of surgical procedures, intravenous infusions, staph infections, pulmonary treatments and worry. Her muscles were too weak for her to walk or swallow solid food for several months. When not in the hospital, she sat on our living room couch, propped up by pillows so she wouldn't tip over, as medicine or nourishment dripped from a bag into her body.

Our daughter, Thing 1, Megan, now age 9, remembers little of that today when she dances or sings or plays soccer. All that remain with her are scars, six to be exact, and the array of pills she takes twice a day to help keep the disease at bay.

What would have happened if it took us more than two months and four doctors before we lucked into someone who could piece all the symptoms together? I don't know.

I do know that the fourth doctor, the one who brought in others to see our daughter's condition so they could easily recognize it if they ever had the misfortune to be presented with it again, was a step toward making sure other parents also never have to find out.

That, too, is my purpose today.

It is also my birthday gift to my wife, My Love, Rhonda, for all you have done these past seven years to make others aware of juvenile myositis diseases and help find a cure for them once and for all.

To read more about children and families affected by juvenile myositis diseases, visit Cure JM Foundation.

To make a tax-deductible donation toward JM research, go here or here.

Thanks Everyone

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