This Week From a Phone

Cole surprised us this week with a steal of a deal on the old model of i-phone, and so for the first time in forever I have a very handy camera on me at all times. This first picture of LB all sick and puny trying to keep down a banana was taken by Cole. She is freakishly good at taking camera phone pictures, so after this post I suggested to her that maybe we start posting the best of the week from our phones on Fridays.

flu food



future peaches


surveying the scene from above for the garden project


teether



It was a busy week, and the only picture on my Nikon was of Tessa. Cole had asked me to please take a picture of her before her teeth came in. The last days of toothless grins and gummy delight. So of course, Tessa clammed up. I got 30 pictures of her looking back at me with this showdown stare. In the end, I got one laugh out of her. And Cole got her shot. It always makes me smile what Cole thinks up for the pictures that she wants. I love the memories she picks out of this life.

A very serious little girl




All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

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Some Housekeeping

I don't like using my blog this way, but it is build up week to get this album finished and all shiny and ready to launch, and I have some loose ends. I am what they call obsessed right now about getting this thing done and put together just right so that it has the absolute best chance at raising money. So... I apologize that this reads like a newsletter.

* I am looking for anyone in production that does animation that is interested in making an animated video for one of the tracks on the album. The video will be used as promotion for the fund raiser. I am looking for someone that is willing to donate their time and energy to this cause. This is a reach out. Please contact me HERE

* Thanks so very much to every person that spread the word about the album so far, we are rapidly approaching the 200 mark and I hope in the coming month we keep building to that list of friends that have made the promise to post this launch. I hope all of you know how powerful this will be, and what a difference this will make to families in the SMS community. To better inform readers here about SMS, I am reaching out within that community and will be posting some stories along the way from families with children, and also from parents who care for adults with SMS. These kids all grow up, and still require life long care, and so many of the stories are not just about children with SMS, they are stories of parents that are caring for their children into adulthood. Navigating the emotional needs and fiery mood swings of a 35 yr old 6 ft tall 220LB man is no small task.

* To keep all of you informed that are helping, the album will launch this coming spring, so we are a little ways away. The goal is by the end of April. It depends on how long I will have to wait for it to be put into the i-Tunes system once it is submitted. In the meantime I am compiling all of the email addresses I have received so far and will keep updates to a minimum. I will say that as this builds and the final pieces come together and I am reading through your emails, I have noticed that many of you make reference and are apologetic about not having much traffic, or a big blog, or are not very popular. Let me assure you that even if you have 2 readers and one person buys just one track from this album, then you have made a huge difference. It would be great if some big huge power blogger got behind this album, but rather than rely on finger crossing and really really hoping that this effort is embraced by one blogger. What we are doing, coming together like this in this way, we are becoming that big powerful voice. So every time you join in, and participate, you are making a huge difference. And I thank you.

* I want to reinforce to everyone that all of the artists that have donated their talents are not taking any money on this album. 100% of the proceeds will go to this charity. As President Obama says, "I just wanted to be clear on that"

* If anyone knows, Oprah, Ellen, Martha, Jon, Stephen, any of those people that have shows. Let them know what is going on with this kids album. They have a great show on their hands. Everyone but Leno, he is being punished for what he did to Conan.

That's all for now and if you haven't had the chance, or maybe you thought you couldn't help out because you don't have a blog. Even if you only have a Facebook page, or Myspace, or tumblr, or twitter account, or maybe you somehow stayed on Friendster. You can still join in the cause. You don't have to be a blogger. Any social media outlet is perfectly fine. Even if it is just you and your 5 Facebook friends. We still need you. Go here and sign up please: :)

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

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For The Love of Grandmas

Just after Tessa was born I wrote a nasty hearted post when Cole and I had reached our limits of unsolicited advice about The Tangerine, before the first edit was done it was so filled with F bombs, that it even made me blush. I let it sit and wrote it again, and ended up with one of the most "popular" posts ever posted here at PTPR. And when I say popular it was because of how unpopular it was. Definitely a mix of strong emotions, it was more than obvious that it deeply offended the advice givers, the "know-it-alls" were pissed and claiming I was an ignorant ASS for not welcoming all of their hard earned knowledge with open arms and thank yous. There was a clear line in the sand, as the other half of comments were from fellow fed up people saying hallelujah! And professing their annoyance with the unsolicited advice givers. There are definitely two camps on the subject here people, and I know which one has the smoke monster springing on unsuspecting innocents and slamming them over the head with their limitless knowledge (sorry for the Lost reference, last nights episode was pretty damn awesome)

In writing that piece I had given specific carte blanche to Great Grandmas everywhere, as their advice had a certain charm and fussiness, and leveled with enough gruff experience that I always enjoyed hearing all the silly advice from them. It was so sweet and outrageous all at the same time. Cole's Sito was a huge factor in my rethinking of how I handled all of that advice that came pouring our way. She leveled everything out and gave me a new perspective on things. And of course now, after Sito passed so soon after Tessa was born, there hasn't been a day that goes by that Cole doesn't think about her, and I wish all the time we had more of her advice and influence on Tessa. She is so missed. All the time.

I ended up coming out much more balanced on the topic of advice receiving, so when I sat down to write this "Advice on Advice" piece for Pregnancy Magazine I had the love of Sito in my head, and all of the great moments we have had with Cole's other grandma, GG Mama and I realized that as irritating as it is to be bombarded by strangers, nobody is trying to be upsetting on purpose. The power of the Great Grandmas to mellow me out and make me a nicer more accepting human is unreal. I love them for that. I have never had Grandmas before. So it was such an awesome opportunity to blow GG Mama's mind when the magazine asked me to take a series of photos to go with the essay. GG Mama got to be in a magazine for the first time in her life, she just turned 80 and she was so thrilled to make her debut. In her thick Japanese accent: "WOOOOW! who would a thought GG Mama ending up in a magazine someday!! That's pretty neat." I am so grateful that we have her in our life and loved seeing her in print. I think she needs an agent, she is a star for sure.

If you're expecting, or just love magazines about being pregnant take a look HERE for more online content of this months issue. It is the March issue if you are out and about and see it on the newsstand, flip through and say hi to Cole, Tessa, and GG Mama. I wish I got to do this stuff more often, so it is still really exciting to see something I have done in a magazine.

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

P.S. I am floored by the response the album launch is getting. You all are the absolute best and it is so exciting to imagine everyone posting in unison about the album. It gives the charity such a strong chance at making an impact. I am working really hard to get the last tracks in place and everything mixed, mastered, and set to launch. In case you missed the post and the chance to sign up to participate here is the link :)

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I'm Recruiting (I seriously need your help today)

I'm not a demanding blogger. I don't ask much of you. I don't give out blog awards that demand you to email 5 people, that are required to link back to 20 people, that have to post a post about why they love my blog or a dooming blogging karma curse will befall them unless they paste a sparkling glittergasm .gif made of throbbing bursting hearts that spell out "I LOVE your style" in your sidebar. I don't ask you to do memes about the top ten things that make you smile when you see a puppy, or what Twilight character you are most likely to let drain the life blood from you. I don't enter a ton of internet contests and then ask you to PLEASE vote for me all the time, or ask you to sign a bunch of petitions to support my political agendas. I am good to you. No? Yes, it's true-- I write long posts and say nasty words, and I know how that can be an offensive challenge for some people, but I'm GOOD TO YOU!! Say it!

Oh that did sound nice to hear, thank you for saying so :)

Now. Since I am so good to you, it is time for you to be good to me, (or more specifically good to LB).

If you have been reading here for long then you have probably heard me mention a charity album that I have been fumbling along trying to put together since last year for The Littlest Buddy. If you haven't heard of this before: I reached out to my musical friends and tasked them to create super cool kids songs for LB, that I am turning into a collection of original tracks to make into an album that will go on sale through i-tunes, 100% of the proceeds will go to a program for the further research and study of Smith Magenis Syndrome.

Don't know what SMS is? Don't know who The Littlest Buddy is? You must be new around here. Go ahead, follow those links, we will wait while you read up.

LB was diagnosed with SMS last year right smack in the middle of Cole's pregnancy. It was a lot for Cole to absorb while making a baby in her belly. We swept through all the phases you could imagine, and anger and disbelief were purged and we got out of the mud as quick as we could so that we could wrap our heads around his needs and work hard on his future. We have been devouring as much information as we can ever since, and a huge part of that education was reading as many case studies as we could find. It is a very rare disorder so the info is sparse and you really have to dig for it. It was in reading through all of the case studies that made me stop and think that I wanted to start a yearly fund raiser. I wanted to do something. I wanted to hopefully be able to fund more of these case studies. They are the best source of information out there, and I can't read enough of them.

SO...

That gets us to the "how you can help part." I am recruiting today. I need you to please help us. As I am finally finishing up the bells and whistles on the first album so I can set a solid release date, I wanted to collect some promises from readers here that will agree to post about the album when it is ready. The plan will be that on the day of the release, we all post about the album on the same day and get as much attention on this fund raiser as we can. I want to start a web storm. SO I need your email addresses. And here is the part where I stop being so good to you and ask you to follow 3 steps so that this can be all strategic and organized, like a proper album roll out should be.

Step One: Please email me if you are interested in posting about the album the day of the release. My email address is: HERE!

Step Two: In order to keep the list of you heroes intact and organized in my inbox, so that I don't miss anyone in the sea of email, please make the subject line in your message: "I am here for LB" That way I will be able to easily track who is helping out and not miss anyone when I send out the post. Just let me know you are interested in helping us out, and leave me a link to your blog so that I can link back to you.

Step Three: If you are going to get involved in the mass post project for LB, and you have just emailed me your pledge to participate, please go ahead and leave a comment here on this post to show your support so that the force of a mass voice can be marveled at.

That's it. I will be finalizing a release date soon and will be sending out the info. I will follow it up with a reminder and the posting instructions. It will be a simple copy and paste situation and I can't tell you enough how huge this will be for us and the SMS community. I have been in touch with Ann Smith one of the geneticists that discovered Smith Magenis Syndrome and she has been so kind as to not only send insightful and thoughtful information for us, but also put me in touch with the right people to best raise funds/awareness for SMS. I am so excited to be finally making this a reality.

And just so that you know that the album is going to knock the socks off of the kids that listen, here is a little sample of one of my favorite tracks. This song was turned in to us by my friend Josh (who actually married Cole and I, and is our Dungeon Master ) the dude can rap, and he is totally going to make potty training the easiest thing you have ever tackled. Kids will be pooing and peeing like pros in no time. This track will be available on the album, get excited people. Let me know if your kiddos thought it was funny when he beat boxed "poo and pee." haha seriously, the guys a marvel.

I know we are still laughing from the wee-wee song but In all seriousness, This is me asking you for help. I sincerely need your help to make this album blow up, and above everything else that I do on this blog, this singular project means the most to me. This is a way for Cole and I to help LB and other families searching for answers. It would mean the world to us if you would please post about the album when it releases. Please spread this post around today and make noise to anyone that you think could help make an impact and get involved with this.

As I wrap this all up, more exciting announcements will be coming. Arcade Fire didn't write me back, but I did get a really exciting band ( a personal favorite) that is contributing a track that I can't wait to announce, plus the mega talented Anna Bond is illustrating some album art and designing a limited run print that will go on sale when the album launches to help raise additional funds.

So that is my pitch, and Cole and I both thank anyone that gets involved with this effort. It feels so good to be doing something and I just want it to be big. I want to hand this orginization gobs of money and let them work hard at answers for parents in the dark. Thank you so much for reading here and as always...

All the Love in the Universe ~ Us

P.S. If you think of it and have an account, send this out over twitter today, all the word spreading helps :)

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Walk

For any of you that have made your way over from Oh Dee Doh today I wanted to say hi :) Be sure to subscribe or you can follow along to keep up with this series. Or you can watch my twitter for updates.

Trish had that familiar spring in her step for this weeks picture, and before we snapped the foreground picture she stretched it out in this big "OH man this feels insanely good" power stretch. Which made me remember that she is really dedicated and accomplished at yoga and continues to teach and practice each week, so I decided I would try to fit in some of her poses she has been doing into one of the pictures coming up. The pictures are feeling more natural each week, she is getting more comfortable taking them, and the neighborhood audience isn't as intimidating. Even when the cars drive by and goose neck. Trish really likes her belly to be out there when she gets dressed for the salon, she likes to show off that baby, so she fell in love with this tank dress.

Isabella Oliver Maternity Ruched Tank Dress by: Isabella Oliver

Originally I had planned for the series to be seamlessly connected, but the logistics of walking out the street and getting the pictures to line up perfectly from house to house were just too much for me. With variables like cars parked along the curb blocking my tripod placement, and bigger trees blocking up the foreground, I needed to be able to move around from house to house to get clean looks at Trish. So I just decided to keep a little of last week in each new picture, so the feeling of forward progress is achieved. The houses across the street have figured out what's going on, and I get the sense that they might be wondering, "what's wrong with our side of the street?" Each week we head out to take the new picture in the series I am always a little worried that someone will come out and yell at us for taking pictures in front of their house. GET OUT OF HERE!!! So Trish has been designated the point person for PR. She was like "Who's going to scream at a pregnant girl?" And that got me thinking, does being pregnant create confidence in how others will treat you? Meaning does the general unknown feelings of how others will perceive you melt away a little, and instead the assumption is that others will be more careful and courteous around you? I asked Cole. and she was like, "I knew people would open the door for me more often, but that was about it." She described a sort of expectation for chivalry. So of course that made me wonder if this new found faith in humanity to be courteous and helpful went to anyones head, creating a total monster? I would imagine in this over saturated reality TV market there could be a show all about these monstrous self-centered expecting mamas centered around tantrums and impossible demands.

I know I get quite a few maternity photographers that stop by here, I was wondering if any of you had ever encountered a monster mom on a photo shoot? "I SAID I WANTED TO SPELL MY BABIES NAME OUT IN BLOCKS!!!!! NOW TAKE THE PICTURE! RAWRRRRRR!"

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

P.S. I was wondering if anyone stopping by to take a look at the new series today was planning on attending the Blogher Conference this year in NYC? If you were, I was recently asked to chime in my two cents about taking better pictures for your blog along with Amy and Pauline in a possible ROYO. If that sounds interesting to anyone please take the time to head on over to the site, log in, and click the I WOULD ATTEND link, and cast a vote in support of this class coming to reality. If the class gets voted in then I guess this family will be going on their first NYC vacation this summer.

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Gushing Over a German Toy Maker

* I will be back to the follow ups next week. I went into the draft archives and found a couple posts that I couldn't believe I never finished. Thanks for the suggestions and reminders :)

Laying around sick the other day sweating it out, I found myself deep in strange new parts of the blogosphere that I had never been before, just clicking through link after link, from blog to blog, until I had no idea where I was, and how I had gotten there. I used to be so much better about digging around exploring when I first started blogging, and now have to force myself out of the rut of just scrolling through my reader and never going anywhere else. I am a slave to that thing, trying to get the number to zero. I keep thinking about purging my reader and starting over from scratch so I find new things, and rediscover some blogs. Anyone ever done that? Does it feel good? Seriously tell me.

One of the things I don't really talk about on here is my obsession with toys. In my early twenties I had a HUGE embarrassing collection of toys that took up my entire living room on these tacky tall book shelves. I ended up selling that whole collection on ebay (even my vintage Planet of the Apes Garbage Can) so that I could go to Park City Utah and attend that years Sundance Film Festival to pal around with some of the cast and crew from a film I had been the property master on the year before, and I stayed in this really insanely expensive cabin at the base of a ski resort with an obnoxiously big jacuzzi in the living room. My dumb youth, but Holy Crap! that trip was fun, and ultimately after selling it all I never indulged in toy collecting again. Now I just fulfill that old tickle to toy collect by nerding out on Brian McCarty's flickr collections, and stalking Kid Robot, and my ultimate obsession with Ashley Wood and his gorgeous comics and his zombie killing World War Robots. So of course now, I really get excited about getting to buy the kids toys. However I can't tell you enough how many times I have been bummed out walking the aisles of stores like Toys 'R Us. Heaps of noisy plastic and crappy uninspiring toys-- So while I was hunting around blind in new blog territory the other day, I found a blog that led to a shop based in Germany that I got really excited about. Again I am a toy nerd and growing up I was completely obsessed with things like vikings, Playmobil knights, and medieval times, this was before I met Star Wars and it has been robots ever since.

Meet Sandra Monat. Please go and say hi to her on her blog. And check out her handmade toys. Explore her studio, and all of her past pieces in her shop portfolio. It was a fun trip to be in her world for awhile. So I wanted to pass it on here, maybe some of you will get that same nerdy tingle from the kid inside that still wants to play with toys. So now it looks like one day when Cole and I can indulge in our whims, I will have to invest in some tall tacky bookshelves again to display all my wooden robots and vikings and knights. What a great collection that would be. I can totally see LB and Tessa battling their Ugly Doll collection with these plush axe wielding vikings.

Enjoy these images and I do hope you get a chance to check out her work and read some about her. I am always such a huge sucker for people that are inspired to pursue their passions and make their lives work and function on carrying out the dreams in their head and the things they imagine.

Also get your butts over to Twitter and follow her stream there for shop and blog announcements, FOLLOW Sandra and while you're at it, if you haven't followed me yet, you can do so HERE.

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

*Full disclosure- I was not paid or given anything to write this post, I did so out of my deep obsession with super awesome handmade goods and wanted to shed some light on an independent designer and artist that deserves tons of attention. I also asked her to make me an ad to put in my sidebar that I make absolutely no money on.

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Taking it Back (another follow up)

*Following up from the post: Slowly But Surely. Specifically the part about taking our bed back, thanks for the reminder Betsy :)

Let me get to the good part first, last night Cole and I had a quiet and calm house with both kids sound asleep in their beds by 9PM. We hung out watched this, and then this, and then snuck into our bedroom through the cold night air through the back door of the house, and into our big empty comfortable bed. Had I not been so legendarily filled to the brim with that electric green mucussy snot that made my head feel like it weighed 100 lbs, we might even have decided to have some good old fashioned husband and wife sex. Instead I stood in a hot shower snorting at the steamy air for signs of relief from my Vapo Shower Soother that just sort of seems to make my eyes tingle a little like I got soap in them (full disclosure, Vapo Shower Soother did not pay me to say that.) Cole and I spread out in the bed, we discussed important business about the next day, played some Doodle Jump, and then slipped off to sleep.

NOW!

All of that sounds just perfect-- until the part where Tessa woke up at midnight and started screaming because she is cutting teeth like Masaharu Morimoto cuts sushi. It's true, she has teeth now. There was some grumbles, and in the end I don't really know what happened because Cole got up to comfort her, and I fell back asleep drunk on my cold medicine, but I do know that it is 6AM and Tessa is in her crib asleep, and Cole is in our bed asleep, and LB has his cold ass little feet under my legs and is watching Wubbzy. BUT, the night before, Tessa was down at 9PM and slept through the night until we woke her up at 8. She did wake up once, but got herself back to sleep in under a minute. It was awesome. There is very little to write about as far as how we transitioned her our of our bed and into her crib. We made the collective decision to take the hard ass approach and just put her in her crib, and let that little baby suffer some tears. Of course it felt like shit when she cried. The first night she cried for 35 minutes. Cole and I sat and googled "crying it out" and almost abandoned the idea when we found a horror stories site all about how we were awful scum sucking assholes for even thinking about letting our baby cry, but then found countless rational sites that set us at ease and we followed through. Realizing that this was in fact a skill set she was learning, she had to learn to self soothe, because all she has known was rocking, mama snuggles, and nursing.

It was absolute torture at first, and Cole and I sat in the living room and felt lousy and frowned and I would constantly sneak down the hall and look into her room and make sure she was okay, even after she was fast asleep. The second and third night she cried less, but it still just hit us in the heart. Cole would look at me and say: "She hates me doesn't she?" Each night it got a little better, and a little better, and all of the sudden there were nights when we wind her down just right, she fusses for less than a minute and falls fast to sleep. We had a little glitch in the beginning when she first figured out how to stand, where she was stuck, she had never had to sit down from standing before and was afraid to let go of the side of the crib. So we had to get her through that learning curve. She would just stand there with this death grip and scream. It was amazing. I took one of the saddest pictures of her ever stuck standing. I was all "WOW look at her standing!" click, click, click, and then was like, "Why is it pissing her off so badly? Oh she is stuck. This is a problem." At first I thought standing hurt her knees or something. It took me a second to realize she had to learn how to sit down. duh. Now she is a pro. A real sitter and stander.

So I don't really have a big elaborate set of tricks and tips to write about, because we didn't do anything but decide to sleep better. In the end it came down to just deciding to do it, and then sticking to that decision. Isn't that always the main ingredient with all parenting, sticking to your words and actions? Sticktoitiveness should be a medal that parents get from the President. I know some people co-sleep with their kids for a super long ass time and I have no opinion on that. All I know is that we always do what feels right and having Tessa use Cole as a human pacifier was not working for us. I think ultimately what made this a tough decision was that Tessa's restlessness coupled with The Littlest Buddies chronic sleep disturbances was just too much to handle and still keep our own sleep sanity. Having Tessa in our bed was a lot to ask of LB and I have noticed as a side effect to Tessa sleeping in her crib, that LB absolutely sleeps much better now in his bed. His resistance to sleep and staying in bed at night has vanished, and that little boy is sleeping more soundly. So in the end, we are all sleeping better.

And that is all I have to say about that.

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

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The First of the Follow Ups and LB Nears Retirement

I keep words floating around in my head throughout a day, and as they turn to thoughts and phrases, it is almost always what will wake me in the morning. Before LB came into my life I was the one who was "up and at 'em" first. I like to write in the morning, the black sky, birds still asleep morning time. Everything just sort of seems to naturally reach for blank pages then. So I get up. Greet it. Now the only difference is that I have the Littlest Buddy that is also wide awake, and so here we are, the two of us. He has his ritual of things that we do the exact same way every single day so the rest of the house can sleep, and he is happy. I sit next to him and motor through my routine, and get as much done as I can before it is breakfast time, and I am happy. In this way we are so very similar. It is a good match. Being his step-dad there are moments in my life where I feel like we were just meant to have one another around. He is good company in the morning. He is happy for the companionship but likes to do his own thing, and I am the same way. He has a warm blanket and Noggin, and I have a blank screen and quiet. I always look up to laugh at the funny parts with him (he hates to laugh alone), and he sticks his cold feet under my legs. He is the Littlest Buddy.

"Oatmeal, milk" he reminds me. "Blue" he will say. We do the same thing every morning without fail and yet he always wears this worried look on his face like it isn't going to happen. When Blues Clues finally comes on he gets excited like it's a big surprise. What would we do if they ever changed the schedule? Or canceled the show? I wonder if he has a preference between hosts? Like is he bummed when it's the chubby one, Joe? If something goes down and we have to skip a step to his routine, we see a difference in him. A big difference. I always wonder when he will start to outgrow his favorite things, how do we introduce new routines and rituals smoothly to his morning? I am fine with it if he wants to do it this way forever. As it stands the morning is always the most productive.

Books is where we get adventurous with him. We switch the book rotation up as often as we can. He will roll around in bed like he is being tortured when we read him something brand new. I always wonder if other kids with SMS hate new books? I mean he hates them. So we transition him with a favorite read, then try something new. So we just endure the little tantrum and keep reading through his protests. It must be a hilarious site for someone looking in on us. He will try and close the book, put his hands over his ears, try and cover my mouth, but sure enough by the 4th or 5th reading he has his new favorite parts, and starts to ask for this new book. So trying to read him the follow up to the "Cat in the Hat" was torture for him. He just looked at me like, "What the fuck is this bullshit, this isn't how the story goes? Shut Up! SHUT UP!" Lately Cole has been doing most of the reading to him and I listen from the other room, and know what is going down during all his favorite parts. LB has this powerful happy face when he gets excited, and it makes you feel so good on the inside for supplying this little person with that much joy and satisfaction that it is impossible to deny him his routines. His sweet smile and love he pours out is a narcotic, when we see it, we are overcome with light-heartedness and patience, he always rescues Cole and I from any unhappiness caused from something he may have done seconds prior that had us beside ourselves in disbelief and frustration. You know the people that can make you smile when you're pissed? That is LB. He is magic.

He has the charm of a con-man and knows how to use it with a precision and timing that feels sophisticated and worldly. We have read that this endearing charm is listed as a "characteristic" of his SMS, and I think about this often. How mind blowing the human body is-- with the deletion of chromosome 17, this single microscopic missing component to his being, it creates a laundry list of symptoms and problems. And to counter that deletion, he is armed with positive personality traits that almost ensure that anyone in his care will provide him with his needs to keep him happy and satisfied. It's like a safety mechanism to keep people from being cruel to him. This little boy has a predisposition to be sweet hearted and it is like nothing I have ever seen. The same genetic makeup that denies him speech, and creates delays, and cognitive confusion, also provide him with earth shattering charm and charisma. Along with this, he has the ability to remember names and faces after just one small encounter. Who doesn't love to be remembered? Am i right? It feels good. His ability to remember detail goes largely unnoticed by most people because they can't understand him. Nobody knows him like Cole, she understands every little mumble and sound, and sign that he uses, and it is like they have their own language. I am always like: "What did he say?" and she will translate and it all comes together. It's awesome to see it.

I'm not sure if anyone has noticed but I have been really downscaling the amount I write about The Littlest Buddy, as he is quickly approaching retirement age here at Pacing the Panic Room. When I started this blog I knew there would be a point and an age that I didn't feel right about writing his story any longer. Cole and I have both decided that it should be this summer when he turns 6. Anything that goes down after the age of 5 is the kind of stuff where kids start being nasty little monsters to one another. I have already started to notice it on the playground some little asshole told the other kids that LB was from "Planet Dumb" because he couldn't talk. I certainly don't ever want to contribute to any punk kid being mean to him by something I wrote, it is hard enough out there already. It will be the same for Tessa, she will retire after 5 as well. So for now, I am really enjoying working through these thoughts as Cole and I continue to learn more about SMS and separating the boy from the symptoms. I never wrote about this as a follow up, but Cole finally did find an SMS community that has been helpful and insightful, and it has been a great source of knowledge from other families that move through these challenges together and share their stories in a private forum. Community is everything, not just in the case of raising special needs children, it was just an important reminder for me to not stay inside my own head and become isolated and pissed.

* I realized after reading an older post that I have not been good about following up on things where I have said, "I will follow up on this." So i decided that maybe I need to go through and remedy that. If there is anything that you feel like busting me on, some thought or story I never finished, please let me know and I will see about getting it rounded out. As always thanks so much for reading here.


All the Love in the Universe ~ Me

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Styling The Walk

Isabella Oliver Maternity The Wrap Dress by: Isabella Oliver

I have been asked a few times about how I was able to get involved with Isabella Oliver... The short answer is, I wrote them and asked, and they said yes. When I started to put together this new series I knew that I wanted to be able to have great clothes to work with, because there is nothing like having comfy stylish clothes to provide for a new expecting mama to make her feel awesome and agree to have her picture taken every week. So I targeted a few companies and thought that we could switch the looks up every few weeks during the walk to 40. Isabella Oliver was the one on the list that I didn't think we had a shot with, and they actually ended up being the only company that wrote me back! Good for them right?! They were awesome out of the gate, and a joy to work with. I know Trish has been really excited to pair up her accessories with the looks they sent along. She loves constructing an outfit, so this whole exercise has been really great for her, and the pieces that they sent to us have worked out perfectly so far. There are a few houses that we have our eye on further down the street that we have talked about doing specific looks for. So we still plan to keep switching things up as we go. This project continues to be such a great time to make, and it has really got me thinking about how to do another one, and keep the ideas fresh.

Don't forget to scroll through the series to see the new note to baby for week 25. And if you click the arrow on the left straight away, it will whisk you all the way to the end. How bout that nifty coda slider? I love it. Thanks again to my buddy Matt for his gigantic brain.

And I have to say thanks for following along, and linking to this new series. Please do me a favor and hit me up on email if you link to this :) I know it has been really fun for Trish and Peter to see the reaction to their excitement for this baby. Standing in front of a camera every week is one thing, and then giving me permission to post it here each time is another. I'm not so sure I will be so lucky to get to do this again. It feels great to do a project that makes someone else so happy. And knowing that they have these pictures to show their boy when he is all grown up makes me feel pretty awesome.

All the Love in the Universe ~ Me


* Anyone not able to access the image slider please leave me a comment and let me know what browser you are running and if you are on Mac or PC. Please and thank you, and I am sorry for anyone that has not been able to access the images.

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