The Battlefield
It's time to get serious about this making some friends thing. As much fun as Cole and I are to play with, at the end of the day when LB is at school, Tessa needs some little buddies to pal around with on the regular instead of just us. I mean is there anything more lonely than Tessa sitting up there playing with a blade of grass all by herself? Look how happy she is with Cole. Who needs friends? Ugh, I know, we are her parents, not her friends, but these first couple years is that incredible time where we get to be both.
I am going to admit that this is a big huge weird issue with me, this making friends thing. This will involve me getting over being uncomfortable around brand new people, and getting out of the comfort of our own house. I love our space, and our time together, I know this is a limited basis thing where we are her world. So arranging playdates, and cruising playgrounds for potential friends is not high up on my list of things I want to be doing. I know, I'm a monster.
Cole is the total opposite of me, so thankfully on her days off from work, Tessa has completely separate experiences and interactions than when she is with me.
I am going to admit something that probably isn't going to be very popular with some people, but I hate, and I mean HATE the playground. The whole deal. All of it. Not the physical playground itself, all swings and slides, and monkey bars, that is great stuff. I am talking about the way they work. I feel like most people don't like them either, there just aren't many options for kids to interact with other kids and play. So we suck it up and go. I am guessing that some people secretly hate it as much as I do. At the same time there are the parents that meet up in the afternoon when work is done, and unwind and catch up and get some adult interaction in while their children play. So they love the park. That's great. That little slice of pie is there for them. Eat it up.
To me, the playground is a terrible place, you show up, there are kids playing, exhibiting different levels of independence, most parents stand along the outskirts, the hoverers hover, some people know one another, some stick to themselves, everyone is there for one reason-- the kids. We do it for the kids. It is the place where parenting styles and mixed philosophies on behavior all converge in this one wild place: there are varied tolerances for assholery teetering on the brink here. I see a kid be mean to Tessa, and I have to decide if I say something, or wait to see if the kid's parent notice, and if they do notice, will they decide to actually say something... they usually don't. Their kid after all isn't capable of being mean or nasty, how dare I suggest such a thing. I mean she is 19 months old, the idea of letting her work it for herself when some big kid is pushing her out the way is jackass. So I cringe and watch Tessa be confused, and I know she just soaked up another example of humans ability to be shitty to one another. So I just deal with it, and suggest we move to a new part of the park, switch up the surroundings a little. She never cries. I love it. She is pushed out of the way and she looks shocked still. Like I have no idea what this is, or what just happened, but it was weird. This means she doesn't know yet.
The other day she was playing with some kids and LB was with her, and these little ones are calling one another "retarded" and laughing silly about it, and I am angry and dying inside. I don't want them around that, so what do I do? Keep them from having friends because kids say shitty things? It isn't my place to parent other children. Kids say shitty things. No matter what we say and do to prevent it, it is going to happen. Tessa will also say shitty things at some point. It's life. The kids that were saying "retarded" aren't rotten children, they just don't know how much power that word has yet. They know it is funny to say, they use it effortlessly, most likely their parents do too. If they saw that word hurt someone else I doubt they would use it again. Teaching kids that words have so much power is a slippery slope, it's like putting a gun in their hand and saying: "I'm going to go stand over there for awhile and won't be watching you, so don't you shoot this, just hold it nicely." You teach a kid that words have power to destroy and they are going to wield that power and see how it feels. The hope is that when they see what that power can do, they decide they don't like how it feels to crush someone. We all know how that goes, it takes time. We can teach our lessons, but it is when our backs are turned and life unfolds for them that they really learn and decide how they are going to apply those lessons. I feel like all I can do is give Tessa and LB the best information and good examples.
I decided that I am not going to go crazy being a shield for them, it's impossible and annoying anyway, so instead I am going to arm these kids with wit and knowledge, and a healthy dose of tolerance. It feels terrible to teach them the lesson that most kids are going to say and do crappy things, and at the same time I know that they will be the ones doing and saying the crappy things at some point. They need to stomp around and feel powerful too. So I look at the playground and I see all of this exploding all over and I don't want anything to do with it. I just don't. I hate the playground. As much as I hate it, I am also not going to keep Tessa from experiencing it. So I stand there and smile, and get happy when I see her wave to some kid and she says "Hi" in her sweet little way, all scrunched up shoulders and grinning teeth. It's awesome. It melts me. She doesn't know yet. She still thinks that everyone is nice. And I am not in any hurry to spoil that illusion for her. Sometimes I feel like the more times we go to the playground, the quicker she is going to figure out that this isn't really the case, people aren't always nice. Eventually she is going to be the kid running around testing out her power, but maybe we will get lucky and she will just be a protector, and eternally sweet. Right? She will always be nice. Always.
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48 comments:
Yes. Always.
i was JUST telling isaiah (fiance) that i was terrified someday of having kids because of this...because how do you explain the sometimes-treachery of middle school, let alone the playgrounds or ball pits of the world, jeez. but i think you have a FANTASTIC head on your shoulders and handling it all in style.
p.s. the photos are beautiful.
My husband feels the same way about the playground. It can be a tough place. Kids are weird, and many of them are unsupervised. Tessa is still young and you have every right to protect her and tell other kids to respect her. I'm sending my oldest to kindergarten in the Fall and I just want him to be the nice kid and make friends, but also not to be a push over. In the end, regardless of what we teach them, they will be who they are. Tessa is a sweet girl and I'm sure she always will be.
I totally feel you on this post. As a young mother of two little girls, I can tell you that I wholeheartedly loathe the playground.
My first trips had been filled with optimism, but that quickly faded as I was reminded of how kids are mini versions of their parents... most of whom are assholes.
It may seem selfish, but I usually try to take my playground trips during the slow hours. This has been a great way for me to introduce the idea of playing with other kids minus all the chaos.
You are absolutely correct about the parents who overlook bad behavior at the playground. Those people are complete jerks. When Tessa was pushed you should have said something, as painful as it is. I have stuck my neck out to make sure my kids are not terrorized by the bigger ones, and at the end of the day I am glad I did.
Thanks so much for posting this. I happy to know I am not the only anti-social parent!
I LOVE taking Thatcher to the playground, but during the early hours when the older kids are at school. I hate the after school playground scene, because it is similar, and the kids are jerks. When I take Gray {who's 5} in the afternoons all the other kids ignore her and she plays in her own little zone anyway.
I've been lucky to find ONE cool nanny at the park who I hang out with while we let the kids play together. She has a similar style to me where we don't let the kids be mean to each other. I think it's really about finding the right parents/nannies/kids. Which is a LOT of work.
Good luck!
deep breaths... lots of late night wine and prayer.
It's really all we have.
BTW I am the mom who calls out bad behavior to the parents. Only once in 11 years of playground tromping have I come across someone who told me to shove it. I just replied. Karma.
Just a little insight from a similar situation - When I was young my Mom played the protector, BIG time. My sister and I didn't have friends, we just had family. We were like this little unit that nobody else was allowed into because my Mom, as I imagine, stood back at the playground judging all the other little kids and the way their parents raised them. She still does it.
The only thing that came out of it was the fact that I was painfully shy, but that went away with age and confidence. I was the little girl playing alone in the grass and dirt, like Tessa, and honestly, I am thankful for those years of isolation. I learned so much about my sense of self, and what felt right to me. I still appreciate those moments as an adult, and crave my time away from every one.
As far as her always staying innocent and naive to how shitty kids can be - I felt like I was incredibly sheltered from that, thanks to my Mom never wanting me to find out. I did find out the hard way, but getting slapped in the face with it all of a sudden as opposed to eased into it really wasn't that bad. I never felt the peer pressure to be like those kids because I knew at home, things were not that way. And whether kids understand the power of the words they hold, they do always understand that when they do wrong and hurt, it doesn't feel right. So keep teaching her what feels right and to be kind, compassionate, and respectful of the ones around her.
Whatever you decide to do, just remember that as much as we worry that we're going to screw our kids up, they always turn out okay in the end. Unless they grow up to be serial killers, but I think you are intuitive enough to notice some strange behavior leading up to that :)
Yes. She will always be nice. Well, we can hope that and do the best that we can to make our kids nice, yet strong. Our daughter is only 11 months old, and it's winter, so we haven't encountered the playground politics but I'm really not looking forward to it. Awkward social interactions. Yikes.
You know, I often feel lucky to live where I do. Where I live is just beautiful. But the amazing things is the kids. While I see some of what you see at the playground, there is far more compassion and kindness at the playground just 4 houses down from us. The kids play well, when the big kids take over the park, they are still respectful of the little kids. And, hovering parents aside, most parents will hang out and have a wonderful time chatting. While I don't love the park - especially during the day when I'm often forced to chat with people I'm not great friends with - I don't find it quite as tortuous as yours seems to be.
I also love that we have the ability to have a beer in the park. Maybe that's what makes afternoons more fun! Or the music that is randomly played there....
I loved this whole thing, but that last paragraph was gold.
You=wise
I have a 17 month old Godson, and I take him to the children's section of Barnes and Noble every week so that he gets to play with other kids and run around having fun. We live in NYC so right now it is too cold to go to the park but when we do, he always has such a great time playing with other kids, we have never really had any issues on the playground. Just good clean fun! But B&N is a great place to hang out and read books and socialize with the other kids. Just a suggestion...
Ahh kids, I'm in no way qualified to offer any advice, based on not actually having any myself. What I do know, is that I don't even like most peoples kids at the best of times, although that's not helpful.
I do remember when we were young being with my older brother (who has muscular dystrophy) and him falling over and kids staring like they've just seen an alien and parents staring even more so like you're family member is diseased and they don't want their kids to catch it.
That reminds me, I like parents even less than the kids.
Growing up with my brother and seeing peoples reactions to him and even being an 'adult' now and babysitting in the playground with my cousins toddlers, I constantly fight the urge to tell the other kids off for being horrible.
Half the time I'm fighting the urge not to go over there and push them right back. Not suggesting anyone should go and beat up random people's children.
On the other hand who's job is it to teach them? Maybe we're supposed to just go ahead and tell kids why what they're doing is wrong.
Running the risk that you could get shouted at by some mad parent who actually enjoys their child pushing other kids and throwing around shitty remarks just because they came out of their nether regions.
Well, I've written this comment and I'm still just as on the fence as you are.
Hopefully, just by making yourself go to the playground you may just find some parents who are like minded and are teaching their kids how to treat other people. Instead of standing chatting mindlessly, happy to have five minutes peace from their responsibilities (brats).
I think that's where the problem lies, there are those that have children who are genuinely a part of their children's lives and are interested in their growth and development and they truly are their friends. Then those who just want a break from parenting, not bothered what their children are up to.
At least you can be sure that Tessa will be balanced, don't get me wrong, I know I said I hate kids and that may seem like a reflection on growing up with a disabled brother but it's really not, if anything I've met some amazing disabled children and gone on to work with brain injured adults in my later life and found them to be even more tolerant and creative than their healthier counterparts.
I don't hate all kids, just those obnoxious hell children. I'm a far more well educated person about all kinds of illness BECAUSE of my brother, and I have a lot more tolerance to those 'hell children' BECAUSE I've seen how ignorant (and sometimes afraid) they are.
Tessa will naturally be a much more open and intelligent girl and woman just for being in your family.
Well apparently I got the qualification in rambling on for too long in a comment.
I was just thinking about these issues a few weeks ago. It was the first time I saw another kid be mean to mine (she's 21 months old). I wanted to run over and wring that kid's neck. But the feeling fascinated me too...that protective feeling I'd heard about finally sprung forth...and BOOM! came the idea that not everyone is going to love my little girl. Especially not the way I do. It's confusing; how could they NOT? But, it's the reality of life and the playground is a mini "world" and there are friends, enemies, and strangers...I just wish we could keep them safe, warm, happy, snug, and that they would never know emotional pain. sigh. I dread the playground too. (I'm too shy to go talk to other Moms so I just sort of push my daughter on the swing or awkwardly hover around the outskirts.)
yep its official i adore your writing and your blog! i was nodding along like one of those toy dogs in the back of a car!
tilly has literally been trampled on as she takes ages to figure out which bit of her body to move next to do the slide or climbing frame. she normally has a queue of about 8 kids build up behind her constantly and there is always the shitty kid that decides he can literally walk over her! those kids normally have the parents who then throw you the 'well its her own fault for being so slow' look! i have frequently felt my insides do an odd shimmy as i try not to erupt and pull somebodys head off! add into this the fact that the park also brings into vivid focus what an utter knob i am! i suffer with a terrible fear of heights and the minute my feet leave the floor (like up 1 step!) i think i am falling and going to die! so i am the furious mum trying not to shout at that bitch mum over there with that kid who just trampled my angel simultaneously making rutting pig squealing sounds because 'oh my god tilly just managed to get to the top of the slide and obviously is now going to fall on her head and die!! the funny thing is the only time any of my kids have actually ever got hurt is when i distracted them in a mad stressed out mummy scream of 'be careful your going to fall!!!' ooops sorry, made you fall! yep i hate playgrounds, other parents are cruel and i am the idiot! kids love it though so hey ho i am liking the idea of taking alcohol along though xxx
You and Cole sound like amazing parents.
AMAZING parents.
no worries...I feel EXACTLY the same.
I don't have kids yet, but I love reading your posts because it makes me happy to know there are parents out there that are putting so much thought into how they will raise their children. I feel like there are so many people just winging it and trying to get through the day.
You are raising some amazing little people.
When were growing up, my parents weren't all about playdates or the playground or anything like that. We went sometimes, but mostly we played at home with each other (my brother and I) and with our parents. We went to preschool and from there learned to interact with other kids, but honestly I don't think this is something you need to force. I was NEVER shy or awkward. I made friends quickly when I got to school. Don't feel like you need to subject yourself to something you're not comfortable with. Actually I think it's good that she has different experiences with mom and with dad--you're different people and she will remember that when she grows up. She'll know mom is great for some things and dad is great for others.
And I see that picture of her with the grass and I don't feel sad at all. I think it's sweet and peaceful. There is just as much value in learning to be alone and entertain yourself, than there is in learning to be with others.
Thank you Ryan for another awesome post. I'm glad I'm not the only one that hates the damn park. My 5 year olds love it and I love to see them take up for one another (it's one of the only times they do it) but I am that crazy mom who will go to a parent and say "You need to get your kid." and I don't like having to be that mom.
this parenting gig is tough.
I have come to the conclusions more kids need the character-building experience of another adult calmly correcting them when they say or do something unkind. Perhaps then they will be more likely to learn how to respect authority, their elders, and one another.
I felt the same way when my daughter was very small. Now she is 7, and thankfully she is careful around the wee ones at the playground. It's difficult, because sometimes I think the parents of tiny kids need to make sure they aren't causing a traffic jam, but on the other hand the big kids definitely need to be taught to be cautious around the little ones. It's all about respect, and sharing space with people who are different from you. Same stuff we grown ups deal with every day.
If you handle these situations well, then you will find that Tessa doesn't get her feelings hurt by the jerks as much as you fear. You can teach her to essentially shrug her shoulders and say "oh well, I guess that kid isn't very nice", and then teach her to not be that way herself. Since you are so thoughtful about your parenting, I'm sure you'll do a great job of guiding her through these situations.
I had to laugh because I feel the same way about the playground...and about keeping my kids all to myself. We would have grand adventures, my older daughter and I, and she never wanted other friends...that is until she turned 3 and I had my little girl. She changed it all for me. She makes me look like a hermit--she is the most social person I know. She was born that way. And boy, did it force me out of my comfort zone, but in a positive way. She does get involved in so many activities and friends lives, and she is busy but so happy. I love to see it. You will be surprised how enriched your life will be by having new experiences with her.
That first paragraph about Tessa being lonely with a piece of grass made me laugh. I love how some things are just a picture until someone comes along and puts a caption on. OK, I'm going to go read the rest now.
Ryan, your honesty rocks! I have a handicapped brother, now 36,and when certain words are used around us, the words DAMN PARENTS comes to mind. Those children should be educated, BY THEIR PARENTS, about the differences in all kids (people- some like hog dogs, some don't, some have brown hair, some don't, some act differently then you, some don't- we are all snowflakes - no 2 are alike!! As a long time reader, I am proud of you as a parent, that you did not interfere. I am a big believer in karma, and those kids WILL get their asses kicked in the near future, and with any luck it will be by a big or little sister of someone who has a handicapped sibling. I also have an 8 year old son. Straight up KIDS ARE MEAN, PERIOD. No matter what though, Tessa will look for guidance, from you and Cole, and try to decipher what the hell just happened, when it happens, she will look to you for a reaction (it's a new experience for her)I am a firm believer that our children will often react how we react. We see something awful, and they try to experience our emotions, and not always in a positive way. By allowing Tessa to interact at a young age, I believe her mold will be much stronger, as Auro said, she doesn't have that confrontation and type of interaction at home,
Tessa will grow to know and appreciate the comforts of home and family, and like the rest of us, just think the world is an f'ed up place most days... But I must confess, as my son got older, I would take a magazine to the park to repel the general population from invading my space and direct eye contact. Your worries, frustration and general distaste for playgrounds is totally justified, however, you may find that Tessa have the best of worlds from you and Cole,(even balance if you will), and when it comes to dealing with adversity and her reaction to the punks on the playground!!! I can only imagine she will do you both proud, with playground punks and especially protecting LB! You and Cole are just fantabulous!!
oh man. i just had a wave of worry about middle school. my oldest is in 4th grade, so it'll be here in a blink.
it's a different kind of crazy world we live in since i was running around on the playground. is this always the case? i mean, was my mom feeling overwhelmed about what my experience would be like compared to hers? for some reason, i think not? but i could be way off base. it seems like... it's a really hard time to be a kid in this crazy ass, busy world we live in. and it's hard to figure it all out. sometimes i envision us just unplugging and going to some middle of nowhere kind of place. which might be a little bit crazy. wait till you get to ipods and cell phones and so and so has this and i really want one too. oh my god, the pressure from all the advertising.
i'm with you on the playground scene. and the play dates for that matter. i tried them once or twice, about 8 years ago and haven't since. not my scene. if you have real life friends who happen to have kids, that's pretty ideal. otherwise, the library is a much more gentle scene.
beautifully written.
Your wife and daughter are soooo beautiful! By the way... I hate playgrounds. All the germs totally gross me out!
Here's a fun story about playground assholery. I'm in Chicago now (you must have crossed your fingers really hard because we did end up getting the empty middle seat for Tahira) and I decided to take her to a museum. Apparently I missed the memo...but none of the kids mothers would let their kid play with mine. They would say, "no, no Johnny, we don't play with kids like that..." Kids like WHAT?
I'm a Muslim so I just have to hope that that wasn't the reason my daughter wasn't deemed good enough to play with. But people are really shitty so thats most likely the case. She's just a kid, she does't know, she just loves everyone which is exactly the way I want it, but I know this will be something she'll have to deal with in her life. It sucks.
Okay okay... stop begging us... we'll have babies! ;)
When we have kids I'm sure I will hate the playground for the same reasons, but damn I want to swing on that swing set! I'm just going to hope that my friends and cousins will have kids around the same time as us so we won't feel bad when we tell another kid off.
I respect that you don't want to "parent" other people's kids. BUT: I think that explaining the meaning of hurtful words is fair game. You're not telling them the rules of life, you're giving them information, for the kids to take or leave or ask their parents about. Saying to a little kid, "That word you just said could really hurt someone's feelings. It means this, and some people are very sad when they hear you say it, including me," isn't trying to parent them, it's being another person in the world, who has a right to state their piece. Who knows, maybe that kid will go home and ask his parents about it, and they will take a second look at their own vocabulary. Rock on, respectful language. I know I used to toss around "retarded" until mid-elementary school, when a teacher called me on it. I was so embarrassed to have hurt her feelings, and I had genuinely never thought about what I was saying. I never said it again.
The other day my dad forwarded a wedding announcement of a kid that I grew up with. I rolled my eyes and sighed in disgust and had to explain to my husband why.
That kid made fun of my sister once. ONCE. In the cafeteria in front of EVERYONE he called her the R word. I have never forgiven him, obviously. I am so sensitive to that word- it's so hateful. But people don't realize it.
I have friends that I grew up with that I had to teach WHY using that word so casually is NOT OK, and as adults they have forgotten and I have to just let it slide. They don't know how awful it is to me.
Haha, I guess it's kinda like HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED- if you weren't around for the destruction or the after effects then saying Voldemort isn't as terrifying or offensive. (I just read all the books so it's still really fresh in my mind)
Thanks Ryan. I am glad you hate that word as much as I do.
Tessa will grow up with an immense respect for the power that language has.
And she will spread that message. Her friends will know not to utter that word around her.
Ew. I HATE the playground too. Unless we are the only ones there. Go in the 'off' season - nights, winter, diner time, if you have to go at all. The playground and the parents and kids are way to much social stress for me. I'm ok with that.
Do you guys have "Music Together" where you live?? Its a national music program that is run independently from city to city. There is one here in Berkeley Ca that is really great. It's philosophy is based on the belief that all children are musical, they just need to be exposed to it. The class sizes are around 10-15 kids, their parents/caregivers and the teacher. I highly recommend it because the children are exposed to music, movement, other children and they have a great time (their parents do too!).
http://www.musictogether.com/
My son is grown, but I had a love/hate relationship with the playground too. Now that he's gone, I use the playground as a training tool for my German Shepherd.
Thank you for posting this. I am 3 weeks from delivering our first and the playground scares the shit out of me--mostly my potential inability to keep my mouth shut when other kids are being crappy. Thanks for this perspective, it sounds healthy. And its nice to know I won't be the only one feeling the way I do.
Have you considered community groups, or trying to meet like-minded parents to put together your own group?
Carry business cards with you, just in case you meet someone and click. Seriously. When you find another parent who seems right, I'm sure they'd love the connection for the same reasons you're lamenting the playground.
I have a play group. I met all the other moms at a breastfeeding support group. Let me tell you, that is a fast way to meet smart, interesting women who care a lot about the way they raise their kids. To a one, they care about instilling gentility and kindness in their children. Not that breastfeeding necessarily means consideration, just that it's a very self-selected group who jumps through many hoops in order to be able to nurse. I lucked out.
Now, nursing support group probably isn't the most helpful place for YOU to go to meet people, but do some digging. There is a family coordinator in my city. She offers dozens of playgroups every week with different specializations, including ones for kids with special needs. There are also library events and childrens' concerts -- even night classes on different elements of parenting. Maybe a group that looks good to you would attract more like-minded parents.
I don't really know much about the playground. Last I went, Elsie wasn't old enough to do anything but sit, wide-eyed and gap-toothed in the swing as she flew back and forth in her magical pendulum over the sand.
However, Elsie goes to daycare, and there's a lot of stuff that goes down among 10 babies and toddlers like shoving and squabbling and grabbing. My 14-month-old marches around the house yelling "mine mine mine!" at the top of her lungs. She doesn't even use it in context or know what it means.
The women at daycare are incredible at instilling consideration in toddlers, but toddlers will be toddlers sometimes despite their best efforts. Kids are resilient. Tessa's responding in just the right way. I'm sorry the other parents aren't taking as many teachable moments as they should, but maybe you can find other parents, somewhere else, who will be a better match for your family. I hope so!
PS, just mulling over my thoughts. I don't want to come off as though "kids will be kids" excuses all behavior or all parents! I don't know how I'll deal with it the first time I hear kids saying something like the R word around my daughter. It's a tough situation.
One thing I know, though, Tessa's going to get it. She's going to be alright, despite what she may hear on the playground.
The playground can be hard, especially with a little one. I have a sixteen-month-old daughter and I'm trying to help her be a little more social and learn how to behave around and interact with other kids. What I try to do is compliment the older kids when they are nice to, or at least tolerant of, my girl. If they are rude I reassure my daughter and say to her - loud enough so the offending kid can hear (if they know they were being rude, not if it was an accident or they are too young to understand) - "that child is not being very nice, it is wrong to shove/hit/take that toy. Let's go play over there with those kids, they look nice." i say it gently, without being mean or condescending. Tone of voice is important. maybe it helps the other child and it's certainly a way for my daughter to learn right from wrong and how to handle a situation where someone is mean. Good luck! And don't give up - tessa is a sponge, like you said, and she'll pick up on you avoiding the playground.
Ugh. Yup. Feel the same way.
I love what you came up with as a strategy though: arm them with wit. Teach them to be compassionate.
I automatically get all fierce and protective about the people I love, and being a new mom.... ugh, I can only imagine how much I'm going to have to restrain my natural tendencies. I want my kid to be able to handle things on his own, and, like you said, react with a sense of humor and compassion.
When you figure out how to do that, can you please blog about it? I could use some pointers. :)
P.S. These pictures are amazing. Timeless. Amazing. I LOVE them.
My husband and I are getting to the point where we are thinking about having kids and we often discuss what our parenting style will be. I have to say your comment, "I am going to arm these kids with wit and knowledge, and a healthy dose of tolerance," is about the best thing I've heard in awhile. That's a great attitude!
Oh Ryan, you always get it. My 3 year old and (then) 2 month old were being hit by this other 3 year old little buttmuncher - and after I asked him a million times to stop, I lost it. Another mother approached and said sheepishly "he's just a little boy".
It broke my heart, they shouldn't be dealing with that cruelness yet. But you're right, it's not healthy to shield the kids from it. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck to see it, though.
I'm late on this, but I just found your blog! I am that mom who will watch a kid mess with one of mine, and when their parent does NOT step up to teach them right from wrong, I do. I should probably butt out and let my kids learn how to deal with hell children, but I can't help myself! When I'm seeing a kid push little ones out of the way in a place that's dangerous to do so, I feel like someone should clue them in. I look at it as my being part of the "village" that's teach the child something they should already know.
I hate the playground too! And I feel the same about finding friends for my 18 month old. She's in daycare 3 days a week with other toddlers so I feel that covers the socialization part. I think it's also that I just don't want to hang with other parents yet.
Ugh. Totally hate the playground unless it is totally vacant. The kids are mean and most parents don't do anything about it.
Okay, this may come off as creepy, but my family just moved back to central FL and desperately need some friends/playdates nearby. My daughter will be 2 in September, so pretty close in age to Tessa. My husband and I have been following your blog since Cole's maternity series and you guys seem really cool. Feel free to send me a message if you guys want to try for a playdate sometime. We could meet at the beach or something!
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