Poof

I usually save these Instagram shots for the Tumblr site I started. However today when I sent this pic through Instagram and filled in the caption: "School Kid" it made me run out of air, and I got sad. I went with Cole this morning to drop the kids off at school so we could spend some time together this morning. I can't seem to catch up with Cole, I still miss her as much as when I was out of town. She is doing so great being back at the salon, I love seeing her there.

So this picture. Ugh this picture. Looking at this picture of Tessa and standing there in the courtyard of her school, it finally occurred to me why I have been feeling so off. Why I have been so quiet around here, and online in general. I don't have nearly the amount of time that I used to have with everyone, and being online is time I can be with my family, and in a blink, my baby girl is in school. And she looks like a kid. And I don't want to miss the time we get together because of being online. Tessa ran around the school calling out "Daddy look" and she was so excited to show me all the things she likes there. I have been avoiding going, because I didn't want to believe she was already ready for school. It was so easy for her. She just loves it. She jumped in. I got so busy with work and travel, Cole and I had to find a consistent smart option for Tessa to thrive when I am gone. It was a weird blow, to see how much she loved being at school. I kind of secretly wanted her to think staying at home with dad was WAY more fun than school. I lost out to construction paper and glue sticks, and a pack of 2 year olds that think she is hilarious, and scream and run faster and louder than I do.

So I am making some blogging changes around here. I am going to try some things out. I want to see what it feels like to get rid of twitter, and to just photo blog for awhile. Tell my stories without all the jib jab I am prone to jab. I am really loving the Instagram Tumblr relationship, so I think I want to focus on shooting on film exclusively here, and use this blog to share that progress. I need to be quiet. I am busy in my own head. Normally that leads to some great inspired energy to put into this space, it is just going somewhere else right now...

I have a project I have been concentrating on that has derailed pretty much everything I had been focusing on prior-- the hair blog for Cole, shooting more fashion work, launching a real deal photo/video business. All of it has been put on hold for the last few months as I am working on a slightly insane project for my family. It could become a cool opportunity, but whether it does or not, it is something that I think will really change our lives for the better no matter what happens. The odds are so slim and small I would never dare count on it. I only mention it, because I have been putting so much energy into it, that I wanted to address it in some way. Vague enough?! I know. I know. Why even mention it, I am so irritating.

So, as I am going to be working with film, the posts might be a little slower, but I am definitely NOT going anywhere.

I am excited to be quiet. With all that is going down in the world, and seeing the news unfold each day, my head is so busy with worry and opinions, and I see the writing on the wall for some hard times in my industry, even harder than before. It's getting harder for everyone. I'm not ready to march the family into protests or anything, but I am absolutely storing acorns for this winter rolling in fast. It's going to be a harsh one. I worry, that's just what I do. I worry.

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