Bad Timing
Without getting into a huge amount of embarrassing examples here, I have notoriously bad timing for things. The one example I wanted to focus on today was my new found "fitness rage" coinciding with one of the biggest months to shove sugar and junk in your face of the entire year. It's December-- duh. Why on earth would anyone decide to get in shape two weeks before X-mas?! My last post "Fighting" was made for the day after New Years Eve, not two weeks before X-mas chocolate and egg nog? What is wrong with me? I am sure more than a few people read that post and had to have thought to themselves: "Ummmmm, shut up asshole! I am not ready for this yet, there is a fried turkey and a port wine cheese ball with my name on it in a few days!!!" Anyone want to admit this? You can tell me to shut it. I know I'm early. I'm out here in the "I'm really going to do it this time" territory WAY too soon. I have to tell you, I'm excited for the NYE posts that are coming :)
This weekend Cole hosted a cookie party that she wants to become a family tradition for us. I was all about it. Not for the sweets, but for the fact that Cole wanted to get together some of the women in her life that are important to her and bake. It was all good until I started to realize how many cookies were being constructed. Until the house started to smell like butter and sugar. Until the dining room table looked like this!
I'm not going to pretend that I didn't eat any of this mess. But I will tell you that I only ate a couple of these, and by a couple I mean 3. And by 3, I mean they were the 3 SMALLEST ones. It was freaking hard not to do what I always do and eat until I hear myself say: "Ugh, why did I do that?" How many people eat until they make themselves say something regretful and hilarious? It's hard. All of this is hard. It is fun to eat this shit, it is fun to make sweets. I wonder what Cole's family would have said if she was like, we're all going to make really yummy brussels sprouts to give to people. I know if someone handed me a box of brussels sprouts for a gift I would wonder what i did to hurt them that year.
So what can we do? How can we undo these traditions of indulgence? Is this how it started, these small occasions throughout the year bleeding into the every day? People deciding they want to celebrate every little victory with this X-mas indulgence as a blueprint.
I'm honestly not sure how I am going to navigate the next week. My plan is to say no as often as I can, and workout extra hard. What do the healthy people do? Are you all so healthy at this point that you can truly eat some of this stuff and have it not become an issue? If I were my trainer I would just make my arms and chest so sore that I can't use them to lift up triple layers of chocolate to my lips. "I'm sorry, that piece of cake is just way too heavy to eat."
All I know is that I just have to get through this last part of the month, and then the internet will be full of posts about weight loss and exercise, and all kinds of determination and spunk. Right now, I'm just saying shit that people don't want to hear right now. I will say this at the risk of being preachy...
If you are in a situation like mine, frustrated with how you feel and look, and wanting to finally do something about it, and planning for fitness right after the New Year. Think really hard about what you bring into your house for the holidays. Don't fill your kids stocking with gross amounts of candy that they will never eat, all of that will end up in your cupboards haunting you. Tempting you. Making it easy to fall off the horse when you finally get started. You will be tempted to gorge yourself on it, making the justification that you are getting rid of all the bad stuff before you start to get in shape. Consider telling your family and friends not to give candy this year, unless of course you have loads of willpower and discipline and are already in great shape, and have the ability to indulge once a year and treat yourself to treats, and then immediately go right back to your perfectly healthy lifestyle. If that's the case, than go nuts :)
It's just a thought. I just know how hard it is to get that stuff out of your house once it makes it in there.
I'm fine with my bad timing for now, it was funny once I realized how absurd it was that I was doing all this right now, but maybe that is the better idea, instead of on New Years Eve when all the damage is done, try and think about it now. Just a little bit. I will welcome the support after the holidays. I know it's coming.
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39 comments:
I think it makes a lot of sense to try to start now. Makes it easier later. Boy, those cookies look good. You really did well to only have 3.
In all honesty, once you stop eating that stuff your body doesn't really crave it much. It gets into the habit of eating real food and craves real food.
The New Year for me means tons of New Years Resolutioners flooding my gym and using all my equipment. But luckily by March it's usually back to normal again.
Not that I'm not totally supportive of your quest or anything...
To me, it makes sense to start now rather than wait. Your body will thank you. Also, it is true about not craving the junk food once you stop eating it. It's just hard as heck to get past the breaking point. Stay disciplined and you will come out ahead.
You crack me up. I love how transparent you are. I think your timing is right on! I always try to start a little early because I get really depressed when I start seeing all the Weight Watchers commericals come December 26th after I've eaten 30 cookies.
I'm in the camp of "not wanting to hear this right now". Only because I was just pregnant, had a baby, got pregnant again and am fat fat fat without being able to do much about it. Yes, I can curb some sugar over the holiday (and will) but, I feel like I'm not even in this game until baby #2 comes out. :)
But for what it's worth, I think the bad timing is going to work in your favor. After all, how many years has the NYE tradition worked for you? Why not do the opposite and see if there's success this time, you know? (kinda like George Costanza's theory to go against his first instinct)
This post really made me laugh, only because I recognize myself in every word. One thing that helps me is to tell myself that I could have a cookie, chocolate, etc. ANY TIME. Like it's not the last one that ever exists in the world, so it's not a big deal if I skip it.
What do healthy people do?
1) don't feel guilty, its negative. Enjoy some life too.
2) keep exercising, get the calorie burning engine going. Get in the habit. It will take a few months.
3) in the new year, work on the diet
Thx for your blog posts. As a new father, I enjoy reading them.
my advice? work out anyway.
i find that when i work out regularly, even if i'm not dieting, i still see results and the more my body feels toned, the less i feel like splurging.
so any exercise helps, as long as you break a sweat a day (or five, six times a week), and if time is an issue, there you have another great reason to do short but very intense workouts (like the ones from bodyrock dot tv, which swear by and only last for about 12 minutes).
hope you guys have a fantastic time during the holidays!
all the best from italy,
xx
Moderation in all things and don't allow the guilt. Have a cookie or two, savor and enjoy them sans guilt, don't eat 17. And not feeling guilty and enjoying the two will very much help with not eating 17. Make this a lifestyle you can live with. That's how I've lived for the past three years, including Christmases, and it has made a huge difference to me.
For me, health is being able to enjoy the things I love -- like really good cookies and my father-in-law's amazing home cooked multi-course fish dinner on Christmas Eve. But instead of cleaning my plate and going for seconds, I try to take stock of how much I'm enjoying it and how much I'm eating. Staying present with the food and allowing it to be an incredibly enjoyable experience is the whole point. When you're paying attention, you also notice right away when you've had your fill and then you can leave food on the plate if needed. And working out extra hard helps, of course.
(I'm writing this to remind myself of it, too. This past weekend a cousin go married -- challenging for the healthy eating goals-- and I always crave grilled cheese and tomato soup in the winter. Staying strong during the holidays and practicing making better choices is going to give you a head start when the New Year comes along and I also think it works to frame your goal. You're doing it for you and your health and maybe for your family, not because of a resolution tradition that no one really seems to stick to.)
i'm right there with you - after a week of gross sugar over-indulgence at work (i'm a high school teacher & they practically force you to eat junk every single day for the 12 days of christmas), i decided this first week of break to try going vegan.
right before christmas.
oh, and right after having a gingerbread house building party.
dumb.
but i feel good about it - it's the right thing to focus on for me this week, and that's all anyone can do - go with what your heart's telling you it needs right now. mine's telling me 'no dairy for you and get back on that treadmill!'
This might actually be the best time for you to start! I am adamant that diet and fitness should not equal deprivation. The important thing is to decide what is worth it. Lots of crap will be put in front of you, and it is so tempting to eat it because it is there. It really helps me to set up boundaries so I don't have to say no all the time. Like, I'm not going to eat the stuff that came from a box, but I'll try one of my coworker's homemade cookies. For me, learning how to indulge a little bit without letting it derail me - or send me into a guilt-ridden depression - was key for making fitness and nutrition a full-time part of my life.
Good luck to you these next couple of weeks!
The thing is, if you don't start now, hard as it might be, you only perpetuate the cycle and risk NEVER starting, right?
For me, health and fitness have to be a constant priority, otherwise it turns into a seesaw battle of good (exercise and healthy eating) vs. evil (crap food and the emotional roller coaster of overindulgence and self-flagulation) and that's just exhausting. I've also found that shifting the focus of exercise from weight control to emotion regulation (it's a great natural anti-depressant) is far more of a motivator for me. But, of course, everyone has different things that motivate them. For some reason, it's much harder to beat myself up when the focus isn't solely on my physique.
As for the food, my philosophy is TREAT YO SELF, but only occasionally and in small quantities. I love me some salt and vinegar potato chips, but if I buy a full sized bag, I WILL eat the whole thing in one sitting and then tell myself that I'm fat and lack self-control. If I buy a small, lunch-sized bag, this doesn't happen. Small portions without the option for seconds are my friend. Also, if I indulge one day, I typically refrain from it the next day, to circumvent every day becoming a crap eating day.
I focus on trying to eat as healthfully as possible for MOST of the day (starting the day with a healthy breakfast and lunch) and have found that this leaves less room for the unhealthy food spiral that starts as soon as something sweet and fatty hits my tongue.
Good luck!! It's not easy retraining ourselves and creating new habits, but it's worth it and I've found that it forces me to examine my emotional baggage on a more regular basis.
My mantra: a slip up is not the end of the world (it took me a LONG time to get to this point) and tomorrow can be different. Happy healthy-ish holidays!
My husband is going through all of this right now... He's so depressed about where he is that he can't start down the path to getting better. Everything you've said (all week really) makes a lot of sense. I might have to get him into reading the blog. You can be his virtual training buddy. Keep the posts coming!
Love the post! Cookies and Candy are big things around our house on the holidays. I am also getting started on a workout schedule. I had a precious little girl 3 months ago and I am now training for a half (13.1) to run April 1st. I've been running for about a month am now in my pre-prego pants! I may take nibbles of the goods over the next week or two but my motivation is to NOT get out of pants I just worked so hard to get into...everything in moderation. Right? And if I do happen to over do it..I'll just run a couple extra. It will suck but will be worth it! Merry Christmas to you, Cole and the little ones :)
It may be time for me to think about it too. When you said, "That chocolate cake is just too heavy to eat," I though to myself, "That's when you lean over and face plant that goodness."
Yeah.
It's time.
Honestly, I think there's something to say for trying to accomplish something when success is the toughest to achieve. I'm certainly not a psychologist, and I'm not sure how successful the method is, but if nothing else, the challenge is worth it.
To answer one of your questions, as someone in fairly decent shape (the Navy makes me), I usually indulge on the holidays, hate myself for 3 weeks, and then hit the gym. I don't think anyone would call it the healthy method.
Look at it this way - you'd eat some of those cookies even if you weren't working out, right? Maybe you'd have eaten more than 3 (very impressed btw) because you wouldn't be so conscious of trying not to "undo" your workouts, right? So the way I see it, you're coming out way ahead of where you would have been. Enjoy the cookies and holidays, keep up whatever working out you're doing, and you'll still be ahead of the game come January. :)
The hardest part is learning that fine line between satisfied and overdoing it. I've lost 7lbs in the past 3 months but my goal this month was and is to simply maintain my current weight.
The first one (or maybe 2 if they're small) taste the best. The rest really don't taste as good. And your body feels bad when you overdo it. Remembering that makes having a few feel more like indulging than denying, if that makes sense. What others have said is true, as well. When you exercise regularly and eat well, you really don't want to eat a ton of crap. Good luck. You're going to be really happy with yourself in a couple of months, and wonder why so much angst went in to getting started.
I think you already figured out what to do to stay healthy over the holidays. You had 3 small cookies and stopped there. You're working out a lot. I think everyone should indulge a little, but stop before it gets out of control.
It's all about balancing your food consumption. I let myself have a little bit of things that I really like. When I find myself just blindly picking up cookies and not really enjoying them, I stop.
If I have an indulgent meal I'll make up for it by eating well the next day. Over the holidays sometimes I have a few days of indulgence, and I'll balance that out with a week of really healthy eating and working out a lot. You have to find your own balance. If you pay attention, your body will tell you the difference between when you are giving yourself a well earned treat and when you are being glutenous.
My tips:
Allow yourself one treat per day, anything you want, no guilt. But only one, a reasonable serving, and you start planning for it in the morning. You might find that some days there is nothing that makes the cut for "treat of the day" and you'll end up skipping it, it just won't be worth it. You'll be in control of the situation and won't feel deprived.
Do the baking, fill your house with the scents of Christmas, but give it ALL away. Every last morsel. As soon as those cookies have cooled, package them all up so you can't touch them. (Eat the broken cookies, they don't count).
Once they're in box with someone else's name on it you won't be tempted, and once they're out of the house you won't even miss them. Focus on the experience (fun activity and doing something nice for others) and not the product.
Rid your house of anything you don't want to eat. Replace ice cream with non-fat yogurt mixed with frozen berries, make kale chips for some salty crunch, only keep food in the house that you want to eat. If you're hosting a holiday dinner, send everyone home with the leftovers.
Once you detox from junk, you really won't crave it, until you have another taste. I have to stay completely away from sugar or I am obsessed, I know this about myself.
Parent yourself with kindness. You wouldn't shame your child for a mistake, so don't shame yourself. Acknowledge, make a plan for how to have a better outoome the next time and then move on.
This is good work you are doing, keep it up!
You sound just like my husband! He decided to get rid of his post-Thanksgiving pudge (which was aided by 2-weeks of laying on the couch sick... i.e. doing nothing but sleeping/resting & eating) a week or so ago - which (unfortunately for him) coincided with one of my best girlfriends coming to visit with a tray of cookies as a gift! Ha. Bad timing. He immediately said... "Ok, maybe the diet will start AFTER the holidays." But in actuality he's been great about working out extra hard & eating healthy whenever he can, and occasionally indulging in the holiday 'cheer'. Good luck to you! I'm sure you can do it! 3 little cookies is amazing self-control!!!
Dude. I make brussels sprouts all the time.. but they are made in bacon fat and have tiny pieces of bacon to accompany them... they are so good.
3 is good! I know from experience, if I try to deny myself stuff I'm craving, I will not be able to keep it up and end up stuffing my face late at night. Best to stick with just small helpings and slowly I lose the urge to snack so much...
Here's some further inspiration for you:www.toughmudder.com
Don't give up whatever you do!! Lemme tell ya from experience and head-knowledge: December is the month you will actually loose the most! A lot of that has to do with what goes on in your head, but while everyone around you is stuffing themselves, you are thinking hard and making the right choices.
Just don't stop now. You'll hate yourself later. It's cool not to eat sugar. Believe me.
And you are absolutely hilarious. Thanks for making my day all the time. :)
I feel your pain, I started an 8 week sugar detox recently and then realised that it was going to collide with Christmas.
My strategy is to eat a lot of colourful salads and good fats, they are the ones that make you feel full.
We have a hot Christmas here in Australia, the equivalent of your 100 degrees, so maybe I can sweat it all out!
but those cookies are so cute. I'm impressed by the decorations.
I like the "everything in moderation" response.
In my house we make tons of cookies. And then I frantically try to give them all away within 24 hours. :0)
Go, go, go! This is the best time to start your resolutions! If you can do well (or better) now, think how much easier it will feel later, with less temptations. I have 10 more pounds to lose and am aiming to just hold steady for the next couple of weeks (down 40 pounds since May and 2nd baby in 18 mos with very little exercise).
Go!
I am fat and unhealthy for the umpteenth time in my life. I am tired of being tired and I am sick of being indulgent and I need help and I don't know where to find it. I know its gotta come from within me but its juts SO HARD! Anyway, I too decided just a week ago that I've had enough of being uncomfortable and am desperately trying to say NO to everything. Nevermind that I plastered my tiny Christmas tree full of candy canes which will be consumed before Christmas day ever arrives. Good luck and godspeed my friend!
I actually think what you're doing makes a lot of sense. I am also trying to focus on exercising right now. My reason? I got married this fall and have been super lazy about going to the gym. I'm about to see all the people that saw me looking svelte on my wedding day for the first time since then. I feel like a cow. I probably won't look better by Christmas, but if I can stick to exercising from now till then, I'll at least FEEL better.
Merry Christmas to you and your readers, I'm just stopping by new blogs that i think are interesting. And then ill put some of those on my favorites list to visit again. Happy holidays folks and wishing everyone a healthy new years as well. Richard from a Amish community in Pennsylvania.
Ryan, I am totally with you. I had a baby 18 months ago and finally managed to lose the baby weight (and a little more that had been bugging me for years) about 6 months ago and was really happy with how I looked and felt. Then BAM! I went back to work, got really stressed and then starting eating whatever I could get my hands on AND skipping the jogging that I had finally got into a routine of. So 2 weeks ago I decided enough was enough and started back with the whole move more than you eat thing - so I'm feeling good but also kind of scared ... I'm not good with just having one. And I don't want to get into the cycle of eating everything I see when I've only just clawed my way out of that ... It helps that I'm not the only one with this on my mind.
I could have written this post myself!
I am in the SAME situation right now! *high five!*
I started doing the 30 day shred on Dec. 16th. I thought to myself "Hmm. Maybe I should wait until after the Christmas parties are over so I can stuff my face with chocolate fudge with crushed candy cane on top like I do every year, first" But then I realized how absurd that was.
So, for the first time in my 29 years, I'm eating healthy and working out. FIRST TIME EVER.
(btw, I'm really loving that 30 day shred video. It's nice and gentle. I highly recommend it!)
You're doing exactly the right thing. Eat 3 small cookies, and then walk away. And maybe blog about it. That seems helpful, too.
:)
What do healthy people do? I have no idea.
But I will tell you, I dropped many, many pounds by not trying to lose weight and by just eating better (Veggie most days of the week, with meat once a week. No strict rules, but signing onto a farm-share means there are a LOT of veggies to get through in a week). It is true what Francine said about your body not craving junk much when it gets into the habit of eating real food. This comes from a former cake is for breakfast, and no day is complete without ice cream junkie.
So, what would I do with that mound of cookies tradition? Make another tradition. Pack a flask of tea, an apple, and a couple of those cookies and take them on a hike. I'd turn the cell phone off. When I got to a good view spot, I'd stop to take it all in. View, tea, apple, cookies. Hike back home.
One tiny bit of advise though....stop eating while watching TV. At that point, it just becomes shoveling and not eating. One bad habit at a time. ;)
I've always always struggled with moderation. It's all or nothing for me, which it sort of sounds like for you, too. This year I've really worked on my fitness and eating, and while I'm far from being where I'd ideally like to be, I realized that lately I find myself without as much of an internal insatiable urge to binge on things that I know are terrible for me. I think because I have really tried to re-train how I think about food entirely and re-program what my body wants, which is NOT a fast or easy process, but is the kind to make lasting changes. I've been trying it for years and only now am I just beginning to see the results in my thoughts, actions, and body. And this is the first holiday season I haven't hated myself by mid-December, which is better than all the cookies.
I say stick with what you've got going on, and allow enough wiggle room to keep yourself sane.
The key is EXERCISE! Undulge a little bit but make sure you really exercise. And drink LOTS of water to fill you up. You can do it!!!!
I once got the advice: "don't throw things away in yourself". Why not get rid of bad food stuff by throwing it out directly, instead of passing it through yourself first? Your body is not a garbage bin!
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