Team Sport Junky

There are people like THIS guy, who just woke up one day and decided that he will go running every single day no matter what, even if he is hurt, and then he goes and runs for like 525 some odd days in a row-- without fail. And then there are people like THIS lady, who is told she is going to be on a marathon team and to go ahead and get ready, and by the way she has just 2 months and has never really trained to run before, and then she does, gets hurt, twice, possibly three times, runs it anyway, and still posts a rockin time.

And then there is me. Day one me.

Cole bought me 4 weeks with a personal trainer for my 37th birthday, and yesterday was my first day. So here I am sitting in bed, the day after workout one, laughing out-loud at how insane it is that my arms actually hurt to type this. Trying to figure out how to not walk like Frankenstein when I have a lunch later I am going to. I can see myself lurching up to greet my friends trying not to bend anything, and having to explain why I just want to order a water with a straw so all I have to do is lean forward to sip out of the glass.

This is the day after day one. How many people stop here? How many people beg their spouse to rub them down with a mix of Tiger Balm and Icy Hot and a little Ben-Gay thrown in just to he sure your body feels like it's on fire instead of a sea of ripped apart throbbing muscle? How many people decide that this whole idea of exercise is just stupid, and they will just eat better and go for light walks, and they don't need to feel muscle pain like this ever again? It would be amazing to document all of the conversations people have with themselves when they talk their way out of doing good things for their bodies. Nobody is more convincing than yourself: "Come on buddy, you don't want to feel this way, do you?" Seriously it would make for such a great read. Posters of out of shape and overweight people standing next to their quit speech. It's a whole new line of motivational posters.

Yesterday when I had to explain to my new trainer what I wanted, what my goals were, I must have sounded crazy. I was like: Well, is it possible to exercise so much that I can eat like I'm 13 years old again and just smoked like a bag of weed and bought myself a box of 12 chicken tacos and a bag of chips?! Is that possible? No? Well how about like once a week I can eat an entire pizza without having to worry about it? Geez! You're strict. Well, I guess I just want to look better so when people see how hot my wife is they don't spend the next 15 minutes trying to wonder why she is married to someone who looks so bad.

Of course I'm exaggerating here for laughs but I was really wishy-washy, like I honestly didn't know what my goal was. To live longer? Feel better? Look better? Everything I said came out like a question. In the end I decided that I needed to feel like I was training for something big! I always do better when I am a part of a team, I hate letting other people down. I've been letting myself down for 37 years, so I am immune to it. So I need to be in a situation where people are dependent on me to do well or they will lose out on something. That is the stuff that makes me a champion :) I am a team player.

Seriously. I need a goal. I watched this AWESOME trailer for THIS race, and immediately wanted to find something bonkers like this to work towards. I used to love that Eco-Challenge race they did. So hit me with links to adventure races, expedition races, and crazy endurance craziness that makes you crazy if you finish it. The kind of races where they drag people off the course on stretchers shaking and crying. And it would be cool if the race was somewhere out of the country in some exotic location that has bugs and snakes that can kill you with a bite, jungles that eat your skin off if you get a scrape. Something like that. Oh, and I need a team, and a sponsor to send me to this exotic adventure endurance race place. That's all I need. Then I will be totally fine. Imagine a team of bloggers running one of these races. Oh the stories.

Both of the people I linked to at the top of this post are written by people I look up to immensely, for more than just their psychotic determination and grit, but for the humor and perspective they are able to communicate so well in their story telling about the process of doing something that is hard for just about everyone else. They never lie and say it's a cake walk, but there is a glory in their achievements even when its centered around so much pain. It's like Rocky Balboa in round 15 wobbling around beat to hell and still standing. You love the guy for it. They could be on my team, they are both Rocky's. I can't imagine letting them down. Imagine the things they would say about me on their blogs if I turned out to be a quitter. The danger of being humiliated in a public forum, that's the kind of motivation I need. They would be so mean. I couldn't even use the fact that I was hurt as an excuse. Heather was running around Manhattan on a bad ankle for like an entire marathon.

All joking aside, send me your race suggestions. Just think, I would be the only runner sponsored by a 12 pack of chicken tacos. It will be amazing.

Tweet