Grow

She fills her hands with the smell of herbs and stands and sniffs at them and grins. She dumps her water pail around the tops of the flowers while she watches Cole take care of this little patch of garden in the mornings, and again before dinner-- she is learning. This is the best thing we can do for the kids. Get them growing. Watch the earth magic at work in these marvelous little examples. She pulls strawberries off the plants and feasts, and has a close eye on the big cluster of blueberries hinting at turning ripe. I feel good knowing that at least she knows strawberries don't just come from a plastic container. Small steps. Keep her hands in the dirt and let it get under her skin, let her make the connection. At the end she will know from experience that you have to love and respect your little patch of dirt to get the flowers blooming and the food to ripen, and the hope here, is that same love and respect will be carried over to the way she cares about the rest of the earth. It's important to us that one of the things that this little girl will be able to say to people as she gets older is: "I can grow food."

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Climbing Out

Two nights ago... Cole and I went to put Tessa to bed just like we always do, and without any warning at all, just after we placed her into her crib, with a big silly grin on her face, Tessa grabs the top bar, hoists her leg up to the top rail, and pulled herself up and over. She was halfway over the side as effortless as standing up. I look over at Cole: "Uhhh, that's bad right?"

and with that. With no big fanfare, and completely out of nowhere Tessa got a big girl bed. Cole converted it from crib to toddler bed in minutes. We stood there for a second and looked at one another and sighed. "So, that's it? She just sleeps in a bed now?" Cole explained: "That's the rule, they say when they climb out, you put them in a bed."

So we put Tessa into her new bed. Told her how it all worked. Said good night. And that was that. She has been sleeping in a bed for 2 nights now with no issue.

"Isn't this supposed to be a big deal?" I just kept asking Cole this the rest of the night. We stayed up pretty late listening for any thumps in the night from her falling out. Nothing. Just quiet. It was a neat feeling to have something so simple feel so huge, it finally settled into my bones and just became normal. Tessa sleeps in a bed now, this is what she does. It was a little piece of light as to how I am going to feel when she walks out of this house to go out on her own. All of the sudden I saw a list in my head of things she doesn't need us for, and I scratched this one thing off of it. She doesn't need us to come rescue her from her crib when she wakes up. Just a week ago I woke up to her little voice calling out "daddy" so I would come and get her. Now. She just gets up.

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Wind Burnt

**A little side note before we get into the meat of this next post. Cole and I are celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary today :) The BIG 3!! And so we worked on this vacation post together, which was fun to do because she makes herself laugh so hard when she thinks she is being really funny. Tonight is fancy dinner night. Which means I have to figure out how to look nice, this could take the rest of the day. Hope you enjoy the post as much as we enjoyed remembering all of it.

It would be really simple to pretend for everyone that reads here that our very first family vacation was this amazing bliss filled journey of smiles and tickle fights... but that was hardly the case for me personally. Cole and the kids had a great time. I can't decide how I felt about it. Yes we had plenty of moments where we laughed hard together, and the kids couldn't have behaved better. All we could go by was their laughs, and how few times they had a melt down, but it would seem that vacation really agrees with both of them. Thankfully they're good at it. But for me... I'm not sure how to describe this thing exactly. The whole reason I blogged about that stop in Mayo park yesterday, was because that was truly a great moment on the trip, and simple to write about. When we got back people assumed we had fun, they would say: "I bet you all had a blast!" which is kind of cool that we are the kind of people that look like we would have a "blast" doing fun stuff. The reality is, the trip felt like one great big test of feeling positive about positivity in the face of an unraveling perfect plan. I struggle when things don't go how I want them to.

Some freaky wind front rolled through FL and was catalyst to my deteriorating good vibe, and it blew every single day, 20-30 MPH winds on the beach, which made the beach hard to enjoy. It shouldn't have been a huge deal, but for me, I couldn't let it go. I just wanted everyone to have fun. Which they were all doing, but not because of my perfectly laid plans, they were having fun because they aren't spoiled by pessimism, they are pure silly hearted kids, and Cole has somehow managed to keep her kid innocence well preserved, and she wields it at will. Being in a car with the kids for so long really got me thinking about what they are learning from me, and so I realized quickly that if I wasn't careful they were going to learn how to sweat the small stuff. So I fought it. This vacation made me face a reality that I hate admitting to-- that I spend way too much time focusing on things out of my control and letting them spoil life. It's a trap to only see the people bumbling around not using their brains. It's simple to point out all the annoyances and bumps in the road, but then you just become poison, to everyone around you. So, I spent most of the vacation fighting my impulse to complain, and had to put on a face. So I guess the disappointment for me, wasn't that the weather wasn't the greatest, it was that I had to fight who I am so fiercely.

I think one of the results of this "fear" culture most of us were raised in, is that when parents are careful to point out all the things that are wrong with other people in the name of keeping us safe, we learn how to see the worst in everyone. For me personally when I first encounter someone, I am usually tying to figure out how they could potentially hurt me. How do you lose that? How do I not pass it on? For now... I just have to keep watch over my mouthiness and edit heavily until I can reverse the flow of the bad blood. I have to keep repeating to myself: I will not make the same mistakes, I will not make the same mistakes. I am a firm believer that complaining about life in front of your kids is the quickest way to kill the magic in their hearts. For me, my biggest job when it comes to the kids is to keep their innocence intact as long as possible, so that they remember it, so they feel it in their bones. That is what I think happened to Cole, she can still remember that feeling, and so she can still use it. For me, by the time I was eight I sounded like a Lewis Black stand up routine ranting about milk, and school, and how the teachers are bozos.That shit can be funny for a few minutes, but when it doesn't stop, and the rant actually turns the heart sour, you become poison. I hate it.

That is all I want to say about that.

So rather than dwell on that battle I fought to keep my mouth shut on our trip. I thought it would be fun to share all the hilarious things that came out of our mouths. Focus on the funny stuff. So Cole and I put together some quotes and mini conversations that went down while we were gone.

Cole (shouting from the other room): "Be sure to keep the kids away from the suction thingy on the jacuzzi... it can suck their intestines out through their buttholes! I swear. I saw it on Oprah."

Cole: "They have this thing for girls called a 'port-a-dick' or something, it's for your car, it fits right over your vagina so that you can pee into it on the side of the road, you know, so that you don't splash piss all over your legs, and it's made out of some antimicrobial plastic so it doesn't ever get dirty." Ryan: My friend Chloe has pissed on the side of the road a hundred times and she never needed a dick receptacle to pee into. Cole: "she must have a really nice vagina, so her pee doesn't splash as much." Ryan: "I try and not think about Chloe's vagina."

Cole: "I think you're going to have to think about triple flushing from now on."

Ryan: "The first place we are staying is a real shit-hole, but the beach is nice."

Ryan: "I told you the place was a shit-hole. I love that place."

Ryan: "You hate this trip... I can tell"

Ryan: "Look at the water. Look at it. Everyone look at it."

Ryan: "You can't carry that across the beach, I will look like a lazy asshole, give me that!"

The Littlest Buddy: "Wait a minute!"

The Littlest Buddy: "No, no, no Betch too cold."

The Littlest Buddy: "I want a bite too."

Cole: "Can I just pee in that cup and chuck it out the window?"

Cole: "Oh so you will drive 13 miles out of the way to see a bridge, but not to do the thing I wanted to do?!" Ryan: "I really had to see that bridge, it looked fun."

Tessa: "Honey!!!!" (During this vacation Tessa fell in love with a stuffed doll that she has named "Honey" and while we were taking a walk, she dropped her on the ground, none of us noticed and kept walking, and she freaked. Screaming "HONEY!!!" at the top of her lungs in a panic. It was nuts. How did she get attached to this little doll so quickly?

Cole: "Why don't you just watch the kids and let me carry things from now on"

Ryan: "Sorry that wasn't more romantic, but it needed to be done."

Ryan: "How much can they possibly eat?" (I had no idea that when you strap two kids into the back of a car for hours at a time that they just want to eat the entire time, like bottomless pits. It was freaky how much they could eat.)

Ryan: "Honey, Tessa is getting into our suitcase! She just threw a condom off the balcony." Cole: "Can you see where it landed? I hope one of those college kids running around finds it."

Cole (after a group of college kids got off the elevator on their floor): "Did you see their stomachs? They were perfect." Ryan: "Sorry I'm not a college hunk." Cole: "No the girls, did you see their stomachs? Ryan: "I try and not stare at girls in bikinis surrounded by college hunks in the elevator."

That was all we could remember this morning. I will say this about the trip since I am on this positive kick. Both children started talking more than they ever have, and they finally bonded in the way that I have been holding out for. It has been hard not to try and force a connection, and try and create a relationship for the kids. They did it on their own. They laughed and played together more than they ever have, and they really turned to one another for entertainment and silliness and it made the entire trip worth while. I didn't get along with my sister growing up. Not even a little, and that is a gross understatement. It is something I wish so badly I could go back and change. What a waste that we didn't have one another. So to see Tessa and LB have these genuine moments of enjoyment with one another means the world to me, but it had to be on their time, not for me. Their laughter in unison is the greatest sound I think I have ever heard, and I got to hear it a ton on this trip.

And finally, here are some of the only pics I took on the trip. You can get a look at Tessa's little love "Honey" and see a little of our trip. I need a camera that I'm not afraid to use around sand and salt. Any suggestions?

So there it is. Vacation is over :)

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Finding Mayo

Last week, early morning, pulling out of our driveway in a rented SUV filled to the top with beach toys and gobs of road food, Cole and I both had a big life moment together-- before I took the car out of reverse to push forward on our first ever family road trip, we sat in the middle of our street, the car still in reverse, my foot on the brake, nervous to go into drive and start this trip, and we both looked at one another and smiled a big toothy smile and acknowledged how strange it felt to be going on a family vacation like this. Cole asked: "You feel weird too? Is this some sort of adult milestone we have reached here? A packed car going out on a family vacation?!" and I believe that was the best way to describe it.

Tessa and LB keep plowing through their growing pains and achievements month after month, and we forgot that we are doing our own bit of growing up right along with them. It did feel strange sitting in that car, it was like a big wash of flashbacks and memories of all of my car trips as a little kid with my own mom and dad hit me all at once, and I felt ancient. How did I end up here in the driver seat with two kids in the back seat, and a gorgeous wife next to me? It was the most that I had ever felt like a "dad" before. It was a mix of pride and fear, and some sadness set in that the silly newlywed phase, and the thrill of being a brand new parent was gone and replaced with this role of "Dad." It was like the last scrap of youth was gone, and for the first time I saw myself as an adult. Like a grown ass man. I still feel weird about it. It probably didn't help that I had just bought a pair of khaki shorts. At least they weren't cargo.

I dont think we were even off our street yet, and after some serious Tessa whining, I had already slowed the car down, turned around, and spit out some generic stern reprimand to the backseat that involved "pulling the car over." Cole looked at me and laughed, and asked: "another milestone?"

I decided not to take my computer on this trip, the whole point was to be completely immersed in family and I didn't want the distraction. I didn't take a ton of pictures like I had imagined. It was a choice that had to be made, when I get in photo mode, it isn't going to be fun for anyone else along for the ride, I stop 100 times, and run around hunting down the best angle, so I kept my camera put away most of the trip. It was easier than I thought it would be.

This little clusters of pictures that I posted here today are from a park that we stopped at on the last day. On the ride home, we passed through the small town of Mayo, we saw this great park in the center of town, and knew the kids needed a good stretch to make it the rest of the way without going bonkers. So we stopped, and played, and climbed trees, and they had amazing fun. It feels so good to know that they don't need the "magic" of a giant theme park for them to have a blast. We were in this tiny place, along a stretch of tiny places, surrounded by these gorgeous giant oaks, and swing sets, and that was enough for everyone. I will take this kind of fun as long as we can make it last, I am not ready to give into standing in a line for two hours to go on a 90 second commercial. This little stop at the park made me calm down about providing the "perfect" vacation. As the kids burned off energy, and I watched Cole play just as hard as LB and Tessa, and I realized aiming my camera at everyone that I never had to say "smile" to anyone, because they were just happy. Nobody cared where we were, because we were all together, and so new places make sense. Everything we do every single day is for the end goal of staying as "happy" as possible-- and here we all were, in Mayo, FL just being happy. It felt awesome.

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Cole & Trish

Cole & I went to a wedding on Sunday and we got the chance to hangout with Trish, Peter, and baby Leo who were also attending, and I realized this was a great chance to give everyone that update they were looking for. Do they look different to you? I think they wear parenthood well. We don't see them as often as we should, and it is always really great to see Cole & Trish together bouncing around with the kids. They both have that big bright light when they are around their babies. I missed the chance of getting a photo of Tessa and Leo playing together like a ding dong, but I have to say it was really sweet, and I kept thinking how much I hope they grow up to be the greatest friends. Tessa danced, ate delicious mini cupcakes, and ran up and down ramps, she had a blast the whole time. She is definitely a fan of weddings.

** I have been traveling so much these last few months on jobs that I am feeling really disconnected, and I hate that feeling. It's like I get home and want to catch up, and just can't seem to get back all the way. So we decided to take some time this week and booked a beach trip along the Gulf Coast with the kiddos. We were going to end up in New Orleans to see some bloggy friends, but while we were booking the trip along the way, we got so excited about the beach stops, that we decided to skip the Big Easy altogether. So I will be back next week after our trip and promise to share some pictures from the Gulf Coast. It's Tupelo season again, and I love the Pan Handle this time of year. We are sticking to the sleepy beach towns on the Forgotten Coast, but are venturing into the tourist heavy Destin for a day so that Cole can see this stretch of beach. It's just gorgeous. Both kids are in love with the beach so we are anticipating the worlds most perfect vacation :)

See you all when we get back.

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The Milk Mason

Simple kid joy. Blowing milk bubbles. This is something that stays funny a long time, that's the only thing I really personally remember about my own milk blowing career. I can still recall the chocolate milk bubbling up and spilling out and over the milk carton at school. So I guess I was kind of surprised the other day when I was working away and heard this bubbling sound coming from the other room. "Cole, are you making coffee?" and she says: "Nope, it's your daughter. You better get in here and see this."

I think as long as these types of moments can outshine the big disappointments like losing great big giant important jobs that I had my heart set on, then I will always know that my head is in the right place. Hilarious moments like this will happen no matter what kind of day I am having, good or bad. It won't always be this way, this effortless thrill of seeing the little things, that is a kid power that goes away quickly. One of my favorite thinkers of this subject just recently wrote an amazing post about it HERE.

Tessa moves through her day and makes her discoveries, and the belly laughs can come at anytime. Every time I hear my family laugh, I know that whatever it is that we are doing to keep this life light enough for smiles is working, and it feels amazing.

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The Magic Lake

Cole never doubts LB's abilities, if she believes he can start hitting a baseball, then he can, and she is almost never wrong. He might not have the power to hit it out of the park yet, but this little boy could be recruited by the majors to come in and bunt like nobody else. This was such a great moment unfolding to end the day, a perfect sunset, and LB who is always happiest around water, was just bursting with confidence. This was one of those times where I completely forget that LB has SMS and I am just watching Cole play baseball with her son, and watching him be excited, and watching her bask in the joy of effortless play. We spent the last day of spring break playing at the lake, and the kids would try and pretend the water wasn't too cold and stand at waters edge for a few minutes at a time trying not to shiver. It was hot enough out for sunscreen and cool summer drinks with fruit and rum in them, but that lake water isn't ready to give in just yet. We will have these kids running off the end of the dock by summers end. The anticipation of water around here is mightier than Christmas. Thank goodness for gidos with a lake house :)

do you see Wendy's little ears poking up there? She was on the ready for any loose balls that were not hit. She is such a great dog.

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The Cole Answers: The Last 50

ANONO asked ... Dear Cole, I'm sorry to be the one to ask this question but - how are you or how have you coped with you Sito's (and now Grandfather's) death? I know from reading this blog that it can be difficult at times for Ryan to help/do or what have you or at least he finds it difficult because he just doesn't know or quite understand. I think my husband is in the same boat. I lost my mom when I was 32 weeks pregnant with my first (also born at home) and now I am pregnant with my first and it is causing me much more heart ache than I expected - especially concerning a baby shower, since the last time I saw my mom alive was my first baby shower. I often feel like I am not appreciating this pregnancy or just having the same fan fare this time around (some of that is understandable though - it IS the second time around). How have you manage to express your wants and needs to Ryan regarding your grieving process AND also your needs as a wife, mother and just as Cole? Oh and on a lighter note...how can I get motivated to stop looking so frumpy! You always look amazing!!

COLE: I am sorry to hear that your mother passed away. I don't really know. It has been hard. Hard doesn't even cover it, as I am sure you know. A lot of crying, bad dreams, good dreams, this is a hard thing to answer. I am not sure that there is an answer. I think that there is something that will happen to you or in your life that is going to all of the sudden click and you will feel better about your mom being gone. Not good, just like it will make sense for some reason, and you won't have to cry all of the time. For me, when my Gido died, I felt a thousand pounds of pressure disintegrate, and I could breathe again. His passing made me less sad about my Sito's passing. I don't know what it will be for you. I also went to see our trusty therapist to talk about it, that always helps. Still I will tear up when I smell a salad, orange blossom water, or bleached laundry. Always a smell for me. I wouldn't worry about not being as into the second pregnancy as the first (wait was that part of the question?) Since Tessa was my second, and Ryan's first he was confused some of the time at my lack of enthusiasm. He would be like: "OMG COLE!! The baby is the size of a grapefruit!" Some of the wonderment just wasn't there the second time, I was more amazed that I was actually going to drop a baby out of my peep somewhere in my house.

To answer your second question. Looking good, having a style, not being frumpy. It is something that you have to learn. I do not believe that some people are born with it, and some people aren't. Some people are born with an interest and they start figuring it out when they are in jr. high, and the rest of us just don't care until later. I never cared about clothes, or fashion until the past five years or so. It wasn't until I came into the beauty industry that I realized that I was light years behind everyone else. I had to study, look at magazines, and blogs, pay attention, learn how to wear make up and clothes that looked good on me. Then I had to piece together a wardrobe that I could still run around with LB and not be hindered, then leave for work and not look like a bozo. It also helped me a lot that my boss would pull me aside and straight up tell me, "don't wear that again." It sounds awful, but it really wasn't, and it challenged me to look better, which in turn made me feel better. Building a wardrobe that fits great and looks great on you, with some really fabulous shoes, scarves, hats, jewelry, etc really made the difference for me.

MAGGIE asked ... Ditto on your wedding photos. Your style seems so effortless and amazing that I'd love to see what you guys put together for your wedding day!

What's your favorite guilty pleasure? (food, TV, splurge, etc) or your favorite thing to do that is JUST FOR YOU, and no one else in the family?

Have you always been a good jumper?

Favorite song to sing along to while driving with the windows down? (Of course you probably do a lot more of that than I do in New England!)

COLE: Wedding day, check, we will have to get that up here. Our anniversary is soon. Maybe then.

My favorite guilty pleasure as far as food goes, is chocolate chip cookies, made from scratch with a huge glass of whole milk. A dear friend of mine shares this guilty pleasure, and we will put down a few dozen cookies without blinking. Probably my once a year shower as well... J/K, I do love a day at the beach with out the kids. I mean I love it, I so took for granted the days of laying in the sand soaking up the sand with out a care in the world. I didn't know that my days of sleeping in the sand were numbered.

Yep, I have always been a good jumper, when you are as short as me, it is vital to survival.

I love to sing Christmas songs, not all year long like a wacko, but during Christmas time.

TAMMY asked ...
As a stay at home mom and work from home designer, where to you (and Ryan) find the time/energy/motivation to stay so stylish, and keep up with the kiddos. I need some of that!!

COLE: Time... I have no idea. Ryan is simple, he basically has a uniform that he wears, and he is naturally a beautiful man so he always looks good. Me, well, I really want to write a post about it, because it is something that I have struggled with my whole life, and it has been a learning experience for sure. I am not used to, or really all that comfortable with people saying I'm stylish, I have never considered myself or said to people "I'm stylish!" It has taken years and a lot of practice, and didn't come naturally, to feel good in clothes. Keeping up with the kids, thankfully did come naturally, unless I don't get enough sleep, then I am Mama-monster!!!! Ahhhh Run!

MICHELLE OVERBY asked... Wow. Haven't read all the comments but could you give us some tips on styling short curly hair. I was inspired by your own pics and had mine cut about two weeks ago (by my husband who is not a stylist. but please don't be afraid as he has been doing mine for 4 years and does an amazingly rockn' job! ;o) Any tips on products as well.

P.S. i am a midwife in NC and loved your pregnancy pics and Ryan's honest posts on pregnancy and after baby. with all these comments and questions you may need your own blog! :o) Take care.

COLE: Answers coming soon to all of the hair questions.

CYNTHIA asked... It's been hinted at before on this blog, but I'm curious about your ancestry. Can you tell us about it?

COLE: Yes, I am 50% Lebanese, 25% Japanese, and 25% unknown. There is a lot of Lebanese and Japanese culture around here, and I am very proud to be made of both. both of my grandmothers have spend a lot of time teaching my about where I come from.

SHANA asked... Tessa is about the same age as my son. My husband is a writer and works from home and also looks after our son during the day. With Ryan working from home and you working out of the home, how do you balance the work/childcare/family time? How does Ryan get any work done during the day while looking after the beautiful Miss Tessa? Do you work during the day and then come home to being "on duty" with the kids? I'm so interested in how you do it. I work, come home at 330pm and then "I'm on" for the rest of the evening. My husband works most weekends to catch up. We hardly ever see each other. Do you two get alone time? How much? Love you both!

COLE: I am sure you have read by now that I am on a LOA from my job, but you nailed it. That is exactly the same thing we were doing. You've got to find a sitter. It makes a world of difference to have one or two girls (or boys) that the kids love, and that we can rely on.

HEATHER asked... Hiya Cole! How's your crochet going? What made you decide to start? I started two years ago after reading a very inspiring blog and I haven't stopped since. I mainly make blankets. I would love to see some of your creations (and would love to show you mine if you wanted to see!)
Love Heather xxxx

COLE: I was inspired at Alt Summit this year at a crafting workshop they had set up there. We all made pillows, learned to screen print, we made leather iPhone cases, and we learned to crochet. I have made a few scarves so far, and then started working on a granny square blanket. I really do love it. I wish that yarn was WAY cheeper. I am going to have to get a sheep or some bunnies or something to keep the cost down :)

ANONO asked ... What keeps you calm and collected through all stressful times. What was your biggest freak out/meltdown moment?

COLE: What makes you think that I am calm and collected? HA :) Between Ryan and I, I am the one that is most likely to meltdown. He is what keeps me calm through most stressful times. He knows how to talk to me, and how to help me rationalize irrational situations.

ANGIE asked... In your opinion what is harder...Keeping a healthy loving marriage or parenting? p.s.- I'm super interested in all the fashion/hair questions too!

COLE: I think that the two go together. being a wife, and a mother is all part of being a family. If Ryan and I can keep each other in a good space then parenting is easier, if the kids see us happy they feed off of that, and they are happier. If one of the kids is having a bad day, and we let that affect us, after a few hours the whole house is getting negative. I think that it is all work in it's own right. But what I have realized is that keeping Ryan happy and him keeping me happy is key, if we are happy, then it is easy to keep the kids happy. Nobody tells you that happy is hard work.

I don't think I actually answered your question. Parenting is harder when LB won't sleep. Life is harder when the house is a wreck. Keeping your space neat breeds a more positive environment-- you don't have to look around and feel like everything is falling apart around you, or feel like everything is out of control.

ANONO asked...
i'm so so excited to read all of your responses to these great questions. Who copied your maternity series? Ah! I can't believe it!

I have curly hair too -- what is your take on the Deva curl products/diffuser, etc and the no sodium laureth sulfate (s/p?) it seems to be everywhere! (shampoo, soap, toothpaste, etc)

also - i never use Shampoo on my hair, am i weird? Is this bad? I'm conditioner only.

COLE: So many people have copied it. Some people were actually inspired by it, and came up with their own unique idea, and it is cool to see the influence spawn more creativity. Others really straight up copied it, down to using the same fonts and trying to position their bodies the same as mine in our pictures. I saw one where the lady did the same "I have to pee pose" that sort of thing is just uninventive and lazy, like a paint by numbers or something. Then there are all of the people that don't bother to credit Ryan for the idea, and they are sort of like, "Hey, I thought of this really awesome idea!!! The worst is when it is a "professional" photographer that offers it up as a service that they came up with for their clients. They bill themselves as being creative, it's weird.

BRIBEDELL asked... Dear Cole, From the pictures you seem like a petite girl. I am 5 foot, and you always have something fabulous on! What is your secret, where do you shop most often for your clothes?

COLE: I don't shop often, and when I do it is usually at a resale store. I get a lot of inspiration from JCrew, but I have had bad luck with their fit on me. It's always fun to visit sites like lookbook.nu or chictopia to see how people are piecing outfits together. I wish I had a better answer for you. All I can say is look for inspiration and buy clothes that fit your vision.

LINDEL asked ... My question is about anonymity and blogging. Seeing as you and Ryan have established the opposite I am interested to know your (and other's) thoughts on boundaries, secrets and protecting your relationship with Ryan. (I have read about LBs 'retirement' and perfectly understand your family's decisions about that.)

I have a blog which is partially anonymous (is that possible?). I try to keep real photos and real names about my life absent and i don't discuss things about my family that are private. No one reads it so at the moment it is really just a space for me.

The thing is my husband doesn't know, although we have spoken in vague terms about potential blogging and we agreed on protecting our son and each other and I am trying to do this. I have nothing to hide from him and I consciously write things that if/when he does know, there would be no concern. It is just that the world of blogs just aren't part of his life and at this stage in my life, I am finding blogging a useful way of hearing my own voice, not feeling alone, and digesting some of my thoughts about my work and stresses (I have worked alone for years so sometimes I go days without talking to anyone but my husband and son).

Would you be upset if you found out your partner or best friend or mother had a secret blog? Do you think there are advantages to a private blog despite your open arrangement with Ryan?

COLE: Yes, I would be upset. I wouldn't like to find out that Ryan had been hiding anything from me (unless it is my super awesome surprise 30th birthday party). Now, I have a private blog, but that is different from having a secret one. Ryan has full access to everything and anything in my blog, it just isn't open to the public, which I see no problem with. Now, if I found out that my mother had a secret blog, I would probably die from shock, I am still not convinced she knows what a modem is, even though she claims she does.

LEIGH asked... Cole, I don't have a question. I've just been dying to tell you that I tried those Sally Hanson nail-thingys and they rock so seriously hard. Thanks for tweeting about them :) XOXO.

COLE: WHOA, I love those nail thingys but I have an update, after 3 applications my nails are shredded and peeling. I have never had this problem before. I am growing them back out now, but it has been a pain.

KELLY CLEMENTS asked... Hey Cole! We are celebrating our 10yr anniversary in Daytona beach in June. We are taking the kiddos (I know...I know...but I am still nursing), and are planning to drive to Orlando one day for a little shopping and I would love it if you would give me a sexy new haircut! :) I have been growing my hair out since I found out I was pregnant with our third child and she is 19 months old. My hair texture has changed so much this time, I really don't know what to do with it. Before it was thick, although fine and straight and supersoft. Now it is thick, coarse and wavy! Every day I am like..."What am I supposed to do with this!!! This isn't my hair!" I started following this blog during your maternity series. It was always fun to look at what Tessa was doing and know what was around the corner for my LO.

--Can you make a Cole's music playlist and share it with us?
--or a what's in Cole's makeup bag post? (Ryan- I know you will love this one!) ;)
--and what are your favorite stores to shop for Tessa in Orlando? any natural baby/toddler stores I should check out? TIA!
~Kelly

COLE: Yes, I would love to cut your hair, I am only working once a month so please book in advance :) Congratulations on the 10 year, that is awesome.
I cannot make a music playlist, I don't even own one song, I don't think that I even have an itunes account, I listen to the crickets and the wind and shit.
I love bare essentials make up and Mary Kay for skin care... that is the short version of the post :)
For Tessa, I really like Macro Baby, but other than that we don't go anywhere special, Orlando is not a mecca of unique boutiques for toddlers that's for sure. We always go nuts when we get to NYC and walk into all the stores they have there.
I hope you all have a great trip, maybe I will see you when you are here.


ANONO asked... Cole, who or what is your your style inspiration or how would you describe your personal style? I love how effortless and funky your style is!! You're beautiful too!

COLE: I am inspired by a lot of my friends, a few of them have been on the blog, Tricia and Afton for sure. I love the blog, The Electric. I mean I really love it. If I am dressing up I would say that my style is classy in a vintage sort of way, I really love to wear vintage jewels with a broach and a little hat, and gloves. Day to day, I like something simple, with simple lines, not a lot of frill, so everything goes with everything.

DIVA LAS VEGAS asked... It is clear from reading this blog for about two years now that Ryan absolutely adores you! What advice would you give for successfully balancing your role as a mom with your role as a wife while also managing to find personal fulfillment in your career? What do you find most challenging about balancing all these roles? I sometimes feel like I am failing miserably at being both Mom and wife (the "Mom" role takes most of my focus). How do you find the energy (and time) to be Mom/wife/career woman? And how old are you?

COLE: I am a believer in the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a baby" If I need some time I don't have a problem with the kids playing at a friends house for a little while, or hanging out with my dad for a bit. If Ryan needs me to be there for him more as the Wife, then he knows that he is going to have to balance it out a little by doing a few extra dad things. and vice versa. Time for work is just carved into the schedule, and it always seems to work out. I am sure that having extraordinarily supportive management and boss lady helps with that. I am 28.

ROXY asked... How did Ryan propose? :)

COLE: He didn't and still hasn't. I don't even know if we are married.

JENNER asked... You are stunning. I have 2 questions.

1.) how do you manage to balance on a bicycle like that?! You have major skillz!

2.) How do you find the energy to have some fun with Ryan in the bedroom (not limited to the bedroom of course) after working and taking care of two kiddos? Or maybe you just want to jump his bones, so the exhaustion goes out the window. Hopefully both kids are heavy sleepers so you don't have to sneak around like when the adorable Tessa was a baby. Although, I'm sure that lead to some good laughs.

(are you happy Ryan?! I asked a sex question!)

COLE: My brother totally helped me with that bike trick. He, has skills.
The kids go to bed pretty early, and we both really need the cardio, so that is that.

SNOOPLE asked... How on earth do you plan to tackle these gazillion questions or so?! Hehehe.

COLE: I think I have carpel tunnel. Yep, I just checked, and I do.


ANGELA asked.... Wow does everyone on here have curly hair! I do too. I'll let you answer all of those questions, but here's mine... Do you ever get to point the camera at Ryan? We know he's a little shy *cough* :-)
Also, when will you all visit Scotland? My hair hasn't been cut for a year since no-one around here can cut curly hair. Boo. :-)

Love this place
Angela x

COLE: Most people don't know this about Ryan but he is invisible. It takes so long to cover him in enough clothes and makeup to even get a decent picture of him.

MARIE asked... I think you are so beautiful and have such an interesting face. Would you mind sharing your ethnic heritage? I was surprised when Ryan mentioned in a recent post that you have family in Japan.

I myself am half-Japanese. I'm always fascinated by people's ethnic heritage.

Thanks a mil! Looking forward to your post!

COLE: You must think my face is interesting because of my extremely droopy left eyelid. I am Japanese and Lebanese. Weird mix I know. It is a miracle in itself that my parents even met each other, that is the USA for you.


ANONO said ...
I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BLOG, KEEP IT UP!

COLE: I love you ANONO!


WHITNEY asked ... What's the secret behind the magic bike photo?

COLE: Ryan claims he will post about it. It's actually very simple.

MICHELE asked... Cole - I would like to know after all the info. Ryan has divulged about his most inner thoughts, family issues, past, etc., is there anything you have learned through the blog that surprised even you? And..upon meeting Ryan, how long did you make him wait before sleeping with him?

COLE: I learn something about Ryan all of the time from this blog. He is a really great communicator in general, but something about writing just really pulls it all out of him.

When Ryan and I very first started dating, he told me that he wouldn't sleep with me for at least four months, we waited a week. We were married five months later. Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but this could only mean one thing-- I must be REALLY good in bed :)

JANE@flightplatformliving asked... do you think if you wrote a blog yourself it would be very different, would it tell a different story about the same world? sometimes my husbands take on things and the things he sees and doesn't see amazes me and if i am honest it sometimes freaks me out a bit...if he wrote a blog i am sure sometimes it would read like a different family life entirely...what do you think and how do you think it may be different?

ok this is a bit of a sad lame ? but your house always looks so fab and organized...mine looks like its been rampaged by disco dancing hippos! give me some tips! not many mind, perhaps 2! My mind couldn't hold more than that, but if you have a gem of a get your house tidy tip im your empty vessel waiting for help!

babies? any more or is that too big and personal a question? I was desperate for my bubsy, took ages to talk hubby round, in the end it was tilly's sms that gave him a push to my way of thinking. it changed things for us and it is now featuring in talks about number 4 as well, it plays a huge part in these decisions. what about for you, i am always interested to hear another mummy from the sms world tell me her thoughts. (totally understand if thats ignores as too personal) just loving the 2 precious souls you already have though, could they get any cuter.

and finally whats your favourite post to date and what would you like ryan to write that he hasnt yet> my very favourite ever ever on the whole of blog world is bulldozer! omg, i love that post, i have watched it over and over.

thanks for listening and huge hugs and love via the ether from team george in the uk. tilly is 5 this weekend and she sends extra big hugs for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

COLE: Yes, if I wrote a blog, it would be the short version of everything. I can say in three words what Ryan says in three paragraphs. He seems to notice more than I do. We are usually on the same page as to what is happening, because we are constantly going over the day to see what we might be able to do better the next day for the kids. Figuring out what worked the best, or trying to make sense of what led to a meltdown.

Two tips. First, marry a person that can freakishly straighten the whole house in 15 minutes flat :) Second, invite people over. I always amaze myself when there is that pressure of outsiders seeing the house.

I really do want one more. More on that after it happens.

**My favorite post to date is the Football Vagina post, and as far as a post I wish he would write... I wish he would post about how it no longer looks like a football.

As always it is nice to here from you, and so you know we are always checking in on your blog as well.


CASEY asked ... Would love to see more of Cole's crochet work...or any other crafty projects (decorating, for the kids, whatever).

Glad you "stole" this idea :)

COLE: OoOooooOo, we got some of that coming.

STEPHANIE asked... My wife has experienced a lot of loss in her life. She's lost her older sister to leukemia and both parents in a horrible accident. These tragedies still affect her today, nearly 15 years later. As someone who has also experienced loss, what is your advice for a partner who wants to be supportive and understanding? What does a person with this kind of pain need in a partner? Thanks.

COLE: Nothing really. Just don't tell her that she has to get over it. Grief is a tough thing. I didn't have an example of responsible grieving, so I did go talk to our counselor about it, and after just two weeks I had a much better perspective, and I didn't feel like I was drowning in grief anymore. For me it was out of Ryan's hands and up to me to decide I was sick of it, and to talk it out. I picked a few friends to talk to about it, and went to talk to a person trained in helping people with grief. I don't have much advice for you, as I know that Ryan has really struggled and often times ended up frustrated feeling like his hands were tied, and they really were. There was nothing he could do.

NIKAELA MARIE asked... Did having babies make you feel older or younger? is that a silly question? i don't want to grow up but I want to have kids and I just wanna know if I they will keep me young or make me grow. xxoo

COLE: Having LB made me feel younger, I was so young to begin with. There were so many people that were quick to judge me for that, I wanted to be older so badly, just to shut people up. After Tessa, I felt more mature, grounded and competent as a mother. Kids will make you more responsible, but not older.

MOMMYMAE asked... if we're ever in the same city, will you cut my hair? pretty please. i tip well. ;) (well, that would depend on what you consider being a good tip.)

what IS considered a good tip?

COLE: Yes! 20% is a good tip, anything more is a GREAT tip.

ANNA J asked... What and or who do you feel are your best resources to lean on when it comes to the various challenges your
son faces?

COLE: His therapists, and my family. Both will listen and offer support. It is hard because there aren't groups of SMSers all over the place to just get together and vent about lack of sleep, or whatever else. Even if there were we would all probably take turns sleeping. We are lucky and LB's sleep is really pretty great, unless he is going through a transition. Start of the school year is always hard, it takes him awhile to get back into that groove.

ReLOVE PROJECTS asked.... Hi Cole! There have been little hints of your creativity. I'd love to see more of what you make. And what are you inspired by with your creations?

COLE: I don't know. I will usually start a project, and then the next thing will come to me from that experience. it's a real case of one thing leads to another. I saw this tutorial on MiniEco about making beads, so I started making them, then I thought that it would be cool to make a chandelier out of the beads, so i am going to try and do that. It is all pretty organic, the thought process. If it turns out terrible, I still learn something from the process.

LEISA asked... Hi Cole, I just wanted to let you know that reading Ryan's blog every day has inspired me to listen more to my own heart. I look forward to reading PTPR every day! I'd love to meet you all but I'm from Melbourne, Australia so I don't think it's going to happen any time soon!

I don't have a question (or I did but other people have asked them for me!) so I'm just sending the four of you lots of love from across the seas and thank you all for the honor of giving me a glimpse into your lives. xox

COLE: Hi, and thank you, and you are welcome.

ANONO asked... Why did you have to get a c-section with LB?

COLE: I thought that my water broke, so I went to the doctor. He told me that he didn't know if it was broken or not, so I needed to be induced. (now I know that if my water was broken he would have known) After that I went straight to the hospital and I was starving, but they said I couldn't eat, even though I was about to do the most exhausting thing in my life. They put me on pitocin, and after 12 hours I was ready to push. Push push push, and then they told me that he was in distress and he wasn't going to make it. 20 minutes later they cut him out. 4 years after that, I was pregnant with Tessa and going through the approval process for having a VBAC at home, and had to get my records which said, "Mother voluntarily elected c-section" no mention of BABY WAS GOING TO DIE. the whole thing makes me sick.

NANCY asked... Cole, How many times per week do you and Ryan have sex? Do you find him as sexy as you did when you first met? Just wondering how you keep that flame alive??

COLE: Depends on the week. I find the smell of him sexy. He is pretty sexy isn't he?

LAURA asked... I was wondering about Tessa's nursery and other areas of your house: Did you and Ryan already have a plan in mind when you set out decorating your home? Did you know what pieces (even roughly) you wanted?

I remember back when Ryan talked about money being tight and using food stamps and still having a home you loved. I was just wondering if you knew ahead of time how to make it happen, what you even WANTED to happen, or if it was a learning process.

What's something you learned about making the space while working with limited income?

Also, how do you self-pamper? What's your go-to in times of need?

COLE: When I was rebuilding the house I saw this house that was featured in Domino Magazine and it said that all of the paint colors in the house were taken from the color of eggs, so I did that too. I am finding out that eggs pretty much match anything.

Tessa's nursery was all put together from LB's baby room furniture, and this and that from Ryan and my childhoods. The rest of the house is still coming together. Ideally I would like to buy everything we need secondhand. I think antiques were made better, and we won't be playing into consumerism. As far as knowing what we want, it is more like, "that TV is going to Kill one of our kids if we don't get it higher off the ground." Then we find something higher off of the ground.

I learned that more people are trying to get rid of furniture than you could ever imagine.

I always keep my toes painted, and will keep my brows shaped. olive oil as a cleanser is a favorite, as well as witch hazel as a toner.

ANA asked... Above all thanks to all your family for making of this such an enjoyable blog.
Besides your natural beauty and great style... I wanted to know, how have you faced up to LB´s life and education? All kids are different and have special needs, what special considerations do you take into account with LB?
Hope this questions don´t offend you. Answer if you wish.
I like Tessa´s photos and videos because she´s really sweet. But with Lb, I just can´t stop looking into his eyes. He´s won my heart. He seems so pure, bright and awake.
Just wishing you all the best with a big hug.

COLE: There are a lot of things that are in place for him. He is in a class that is tailored to his needs and exceptionalities. His teacher truly cares about his success. Between, his teacher, and his therapists we are always collaborating on ways to improve his days and his learning potential. As for as his future, we have a few things in place, now it is just a matter of making sure that it is all funded before we leave this place.

COLLEEN asked... I have a breastfeeding question. How did you wean and did you ever give Tessa bottles (of pumped milk). It's really difficult to get my 9 month old son to take a bottle.

I also haven't yet had the balls to do cry it out. How did that go for you? Any tips?

COLE: Tessa had to take bottles of EBM when I was working, and she did really well with it. I would say that at nine months it really might be a challenge to get your baby to accept a bottle. I always had great luck with the playtex latex nipples with both of my kids. Weaning went well for us. Like I said before to someone else, I think I did it too fast for my body, because I had some difficulty with the flux in hormones from stopping. Tessa did great however.
Cry it out worked for us, but if you aren't ready and you keep going in there, you are just going to confuse your baby. Don't do it until you are ready. And like I always say, if it doesn't feel right to you for your baby, it probably isn't right. Motherly instincts are a force to be reckoned with.

SHEA GOFF asked... Just wanted to say thank you, Cole. Due to your recommendation of the cycling apparatus my Mom and nephew Wyatte are on the brink of taking up a new hobby.

And this has to be at least a small portion of what this blogging thing is all about, huh?

Much love and gratitude to you and your family!

COLE: You are welcome. We love our WeeHoo.

SHAROLYN asked... You have a gorgeous family. I'm really curious about how you managed to NOT fall off that bike in that last picture?

COLE: My brother helped, it was hard.

JACQUELINE asked... oh! I completely forgot to ask you to share some of your knitting projects with us! I remember in a previous post Ryan mentioned you're recent knitting craze- I'm a "crazed" knitter, myself, and would love to see what you've done as of late.

COLE: I still haven't learned to knit. I started crocheting, and I love it. I have sort of slowed down due to the cost of yarn. I have on more than one occasion considered getting a few angoras to shear for the free yarn.

ZOE asked... I'm late to the party so here I go. . . What was it about Ryan that made you marry so soon after meeting and decide to have a baby so soon after you got married? How did you know he was The One?

COLE: He was my husband before I met him. We fit together so effortlessly. LB really enjoyed him. There wasn't a question in my mind. I didn't feel like it was a choice, it was something that was already done, he was my husband, not a guy I was dating. We got pregnant so soon, because LB was already four, and we didn't want an age gap any bigger than that.

EMILY G asked... I'm in love with the idea of gardening, but I'm coming up with millions of reasons not to. Like, that I'm lazy, and I work a full time job, and I haven't learned how to enjoy sweating. :/ I also want a chicken, but I want someone to come take care of it and just put the eggs in my fridge. Haha.

Anyway, you've started gardening and I'm SO PROUD of you and SO INSPIRED and I want my little ones to experience the gives and takes of the earth. Any tips? Or any OMG don't try planting THIS your first time around? And if you tell me that I'm probably hopeless, I wouldn't blame you. :)

I'm thinking about picking up that book Ryan told us you were really getting into. Give us a book review!

COLE: I would say get a few big pots and plant some foods that you buy most often at the store. don't overwhelm yourself, or it really won't be fun. keep it small. Real small. Little triumphs are infectious.

SHELLEY SENAI asked... Hi Cole! I loved your maternity series and the story of your homebirth. So inspiring! I hope to have one myself one day.

We got your hubby's side of the story but would love to hear more about what it was like for you - and if you'd do it again. :)

COLE: For me it was incredible. I will most definitely do it again. I feel like no one realizes that Ryan and I wrote that birth story together. Well, he wrote it, and would talk to me about it as he got it all down. It was hard for me to remember certain parts, but other pieces are so clear and they were feelings and memories that only another mother could really know, and at the same time I am not sure it can be described in writing, it is just a bond all mothers share, no matter how you gave birth. It was exactly the experience that I hoped it would be, and it made me feel more powerful and in charge of my whole life. It was one of the things in my life that have changed me forever.

COLEY-COLE asked... Ironically, friends call me Cole too--Coley Cole to be exact. I'd love to interview you for my blog, The Pearl Mic! I cover/interview beautiful, talented women who work in creative industries (I love music too so there are lots of music posts in between). It is meant to inspire women to go for their dreams and punch low self-esteem in the balls.

Just say yes (please please please) and I will send the questions right away!

COLE: I am a Colie as well, but that is really reserved for family ;) I am taking a LONG break from answering any more questions.

SHAN asked... I love this site, I think your family is amazing and beautiful and I thank you immensely for sharing! You really are inspiring!

Cole, how do you manage to work, raise such a happy family, and keep it all together during the tough times (and look so good doing it all!)? You two also seem to have such a great relationship. What are your secrets?!

Thanks so much!

COLE: I love my career, and my family. I enjoy being in both places, there hasn't been a day since I started working at Alchemy that I didn't want to be there, and I have been happy everyday to come home to Ryan and the kids. It has gotten tricky, and that is why I am on a LOA. We need to figure out a better plan for Tessa while I am at work when Ryan is out of town. No secrets that you haven't heard before. Talk to each other, try to be clear about what I need, and listen to him when he tells me what he needs. The hardest thing for me is to hear things that I am not doing well without getting defensive. I am always working on that, swallowing my pride is not easy to do.

KENNA asked... I'm extremely envious of your natural curls! My hair is stick strait, would a perm be a horrible idea? The only person I have talked to it about is my momma and she hasn't had one since the 80s and says it would destroy my hair... But I want that curl so bad! Thoughts? Input?
Thanks!

COLE: Perms rule, I will talk more about that when I get on to the hair post.

ANONO asked... Out of pure curiosity, why is LB called "the littlest buddy" and not his given name like Tessa?

COLE: Ryan calls everyone buddy, and when he met LB he called him little buddy, and when Ryan and LB were out with all of Ryan's buddies, LB was the littlest buddy. The same way he never calls me Nicole.

AGIRLNAMEDMEL asked... I absolutely love Cole's style. What's your top 5 hair hair & makeup products?

COLE: For Hair, in no particular order, Bumble Does it all Spray, Bumble, curl conscious holding foam, Phyto Lactum+ shampoo, phyto sesame conditioner, and Davines stucco paste (and 100 others). Makeup, Mary Kay Day Solution, Bare Escentuals powder foundation, Bare Escentuals Blush and eyeshadow, Mabelline Great lash, and something to put on my lips.

ANONO asked... What is your tattoo of?

COLE: A lotus flower

FAERY SARAH asked... Kind of a random thing to ask on this post... but I would LOVE to see an update on baby Leo - just loved seeing him and his mum in the Do What You Love vid... would love to see more!

xx

(looking forward to reading the follow up post to this with all cole's answers!)

COLE: i'll ask Ryan.

MOMMAMCELWAIN asked... Ok...another hair question.... Why, why, why do hair stylists always use (and seem to default to) thinning shears? They always ruin my great haircuts because I have tricky wavy/fine hair, which turns into a flat, frizzy mess and then I never want to go back to get it fixed. It makes me sad that one little cutting tool can do so much damage :(
Love this blog and love that you all are willing to share your life in beautiful photos and stories with us!

COLE: I don't know. I don't even own texturizing shears. I will talk more about this sort of thing in the hair posts. :)

ALICIA asked... Hi Cole! I think you're awesome and love your family (my husband thinks I'm creepy the way I squeal over Ryan's pics). My question is a serious one: how do you parent LB without being overbearing? How do you let him into social situations without needing to explain or apologize or preface? How anxious are you for him in the future (school, friends, adolescence, adulthood)? How do you deal with his ups and downs?
I apologize if this it too personal, it's just been confirmed my perfect 3 year old has behavioural and learning disabilities and I'm trying to cope with the idea of having a child who is "different" (please note the air quotes and hint of scorn).

COLE: LB is very happy. As long as he is happy then what is there to worry about? I think of it this way, LB does all of these odd, and sometimes repetitive things, and they can get annoying, but the bottom line is, they are only annoying ME, not him. He is perfectly happy doing them. Right there I can take a deep breath and be thankful that I have a happy boy. Then I can figure out how to keep him from affecting other people. It is my job to support him and accept his disabilities. We have found kids that love him, so as of right now, we are around some kids that get who LB is, and they know that he can't speak clearly, and it isn't a big deal, more of a curiosity. I feel like the more I treat his SMS like it is nothing, the easier it is for all of the other people that might be wondering why he is signing or flipping a book over his lips to just accept it as no big deal as well. It helps not to over explain, or get too complicated with other kids, that usually leads to them treating him like there is something wrong with him, and feel sorry for him and for you. I hope this helps.

LAURA asked... As long as there is a hair post coming... I too have curly hair and gave away my straightening iron many months ago. I have only straightened it a handful of times since then (with my sister's iron) and am really working on rocking my curls.

I have long, fine hair and LOTS of it. It likes to frizz and fly away and generally be unruly. Most of the time, that's awesome. I love my curly mess. But sometimes? Sometimes I just want it to SIT DOWN.

But not like flat and then curl so tight I look like Shirley Temple in the last two inches of curl. And you know what? That's what happens!

If I run even a wide-tooth comb through my hair after showering, it gets flat on top and only starts to curl around my ear. From my ear down it gets progressively curly-er. Make sense?

Now, if I run a comb through it and then try to mess it up with my fingers, I get a funky wave and then the curls. It looks TERRIBLE.

If I comb it and use the towel to shake things up, parts of it actually dry and are then fluffy and frizzy and not at all cute.

*sigh*

Can you sense my frustration?

I have yet to find a product (and I've tried a lot) that truly work well... or that I can apply consistently well. It can't be difficult to use or I give up on it! I HATE hard hair!

One more curl frustration: my curls never do the same thing twice. You know? And my best curls always seem to be late at night when no one will see them. Or the next day when the top half is a disheveled mess and there's no way I'm going to get it to look halfway presentable.

Suggestions?

OH. One more thing. (Am I pushing it?)

I saw someone else talking about shampoo not being a part of her routine. I sometimes eliminate conditioner from mine and sometimes it seems like that actually HELPS my curls. Possible?

Is there a special regimen for curls? Things we can do?

Are diffusers worth it? I've never successfully used one.

Okay, I'm done. Swear.

COLE: All of this will be covered. Hold on just a little longer.

DR STRANGELOVE asked... What do you use to aid LB in communication (PECS, sign, etc.)? I teach special education in an autism room, and am always looking for ideas. He is very lucky, to have such understanding and wonderful parents as you and Ryan.

COLE: We mostly use sign. It is the easiest for our family. The Alt Speak that he uses at school is very heavy for him to carry around with him, and he uses the signs along with his approximation of the word. Now he is speaking so much more clearly that he is naturally phasing out the sign unless someone doesn't understand him, it is pretty neat.

ANONO asked ... What is sex after babies like? Not just the, well, feel of the whole thing after having your nether regions stretched out, but also the frequency & enjoyment?

COLE:I wasn't ready to have normal sex until Tessa was about 5 months old. After Tessa was born I was shocked to find out that my fucking vagina felt like I was beat with a baseball bat. For some reason I didn't think there was going to be a healing time. Anyway it took that long for it to not feel sore like a bruise to have sex. As far as the stretch I don't notice a difference. I am sure it isn't the exact same, but I still like to do it, and his wiener isn't getting lost in my giant stretched out vagina or anything. LOL.

---WHOA! I am done. This was fun, but sort of felt like an interrogation towards the end. You know how they will ask the suspect the same question a bunch of different ways to make sure they keep answering it the same way. HAHA. Alright, I hope you all had fun with this. I am going to have to get busy with the big hair post. I am really excited about the hair questions. We bought a new domain just for that. <3 Cole

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Rain School

This is what Wendy was looking at going on outside in the pictures I posted earlier this week. She was a little confused at first I think :) Wish you could have heard that laugh going on under the umbrella. The best.

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